Last week my sister reminded me
“It’s been two years. I want you all to know I am thinking of you.”

Two years ago I lost the sound of my father’s voice
No more calls
No more messages
No more visits

It surprised me that he left us all with a profound freedom
A freedom that we can and are surviving without him

He left his encouragement and wisdom that anything is possible
It is still possible to have fascinating and deep conversations
Feel alive
Be reminded of him in so many wonderful parts of this world.
And to express frustration with the seemingly unjust
Or what seems very, very wrong.

To listen and say, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you”
“I’m sorry I cannot fix you.”

To say “I lost” sounds like it was all a competition
But it’s not.
Even though I heard him say last week,
“There you go!”