Shattered Hierarchy in Truth

Detach the mind and set it aside.

It’s not needed.

It’s like the appendix –

an entity that humans have evolved beyond.

Absorb the mind

like you ask that all that is no longer needed

be absorbed by the universe.

And so it is.


I would like to thank the current administration for revealing the true character of all. And for revealing the anger that needs to dissipate in order to feel peaceful. For revealing the need to create healthy boundaries. For revealing that which we must let go. For helping us all to experience new beginnings. We as a species are evolving and sometimes evolution is ugly. But know we are all loved and are expressions of brilliant creations. We are all musical vibrations taking form. Choose to resonate with a genuine love vibration and you will experience that which has never been defined.

Surrounding Herself with Incessant Torrents

Scatter the pages

The words

The memories

Scatter them into the water

To be blessed for eternity

Eternally giving life to all.



The realization that keeping the journals filled with sorrow, joy, dreams was a prison of madness. I threw them all away. I am now free. Freedom feels a bit unsettling at times, so I seek the help of others to help me balance and return to my source where creation radiates an infinite undefined brilliance.

The same with the bin filled with expressions of a need to feel loved. I now know that I am loved. Thank you to the teachers, the friends, the classmates, the scores, the crown, the cards, the notes, the mementos and more. Thank you for being the external source of that which I had forgotten. You were all there for me when I needed you. Thank you.

As I release that which no longer serves me. Let it be known that all others are also released.

We dance. We sing. We flow, We grow. We live a little longer.

Thank you.

Shimmering Hues with Iridescent Tendrils

Do the anxious thoughts churning in the mind become a control mechanism? Worried about kids . . . control the kids. Worried about the career . . . control the career. Worried about the project . . . control the details of the project. Worried about the environment . . . control becomes overwhelming.

Why the worry? Is it the fear of being judged and not accepted? The fear of not being cared for? Not loved? What if all knew they are loved and fully accepted every moment? What if all recalled the safety in which we exist?

The message comes through a dream of an old woman leading a tired and emaciated horse through town. As they walk up to the fountain in the center of the street. The water from the fountain overflows. The woman and the horse gaze with exhaustion at the water. They look around, a little more curious about the situation. Do others in the square notice the water? Everyone seems to be going about their own way. Busy tending to themselves, their tasks and the people around them.

And then the old woman and the horse decide to step into the water which has spilled forth on to the bricks surrounding the fountain. They notice the water feels different, a sort of smooth fluid almost like a gel. It glistens in the light and seems to exude a subtle sound. A musical flute mixed with etheric resonance unlike the earthly dimension in which the woman and the horse have walked for hundreds of years.

The water, the horse and the woman become one as their elements combine and morph. A slow motion process takes place. The woman and the horse transform. Unaware of their surroundings. Forgetting all the past circumstances which have effected them until this moment.

Their postures change. They hear, see, taste and feel like they have never felt before. And there is a certain something else they cannot describe for they have never experienced it before. To ask them later would be a secret kept in their hearts.

The woman stands tall. Her hair grows long and changes color. The clothing is now flowing layers of multicolored silk and iridescent shimmering textures. The horse becomes more toned and the color changes to a light but not quite – it’s a color not yet written of. And the tether tied to the horse disappears.

In the next moment, as if the two were always and forever in their current state. The woman jumps up on the back of the horse, for they are both strong enough to help one another. The companions are now changed.

The fountain has changed as well. It sprays and dances and swirls in a dream-like motion. The music has changed from subtle to much more defined as the particles combine and create that which was and is now the music of the souls.

The woman, on the back of the horse, her shoulders pulled back, a book in one hand and feathers in another, now has wings so magnificent that she seems to be floating on air. The wings rise up from the woman’s back just as tall as the horse. They look as if they might weigh her down but she carries the wings as if they are but a simple accessory.

Together they turn, turn, turn. Together they step forth with the confidence the gifts they chose to receive have given them.







Silly How I Trembled

A friend of mine posted something today on social media which prompts this blog post.

“Don’t be afraid to start over again, this time you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.” #rebirth

Yep. I remember my rebirth day. November 4, 2017. I participated in a powerful ceremony where I moved forward from a previous traumatic lifetime. One which I accept full responsibility, have forgiven, love and am grateful. The new life is amazing, fun, silly, obnoxious, boring, but it is without shame, anger, sadness and so many other low vibrations.

And you know when it happens for real. At first I doubted myself that my life was really that traumatic but I could not doubt what my body went through as soon as I accepted the healing streams of grace. I went into a state of intense trembling for hours.

There was nobody there for me but myself.

It took me a while to accept myself exactly as I am. With the help of the spirit of my grandfather, I recalled unconditional love in a different dimensional space. And in this present moment, in all dimensional aspects of myself, I remind myself daily that I am loved.

I cry every time.

It is truly re-mind. A re-wiring of the mind.

It’s silly how the trembling was the one powerful sign my body could give me that what I experienced was not in my imagination. It was true and nobody can take that truth away from me. No one can diminish the powerful hold it had on me for over 50 years. Only I, as I accept myself, can let go and move forward with the strength previously not imagined.

Shame Hidden In Tethers

I enjoy the day when individuals and organizations applaud those with technical degrees who have turned them into careers. My technical degree has taken me farther and with more joy than most college degrees would have and it did not weigh me down with debt.

This comes at the end of a couple of weeks where staying quiet around the office seemed the better thing to do rather than express an opinion. This comes at the end of a couple of weeks where the team members were asked to submit there professional bios and resumes. The bios were to be posted on the website as a means to communicate the credibility of the company to prospective business partners and such.

I hesitated and then wrote my bio. Feeling intense shame as I compared it to the others. There is no advanced degree. There is no “president” or “CEO” title. There is no multi-million dollar development or discovery or research study. There is no honorary scholarship. There is only decades of surviving through a shit ton of adversity and trauma to get to this moment.

As a graphic designer with a degree from a small technical school in South Dakota, I have been turned down hundreds of times when applying for jobs. The person with the 4-year degree was always favored. The only way I have survived the past 10 years is through freelance work which is based on my willingness to do just about any kind of work for any organization. More importantly, based on connections with kind individuals who thought of me and made a connection. I am very grateful to all those individuals. They are all very kind. None of them cared about my level of education, all they know is what it is like to work with me, which must be pleasant enough to continue with them or another.

I accept full responsibility for feeling shame when it comes to level of education. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

May the shame transcend into honor. May the shame hidden in the tethers of advanced academia be replaced with the wings of respect and celebration of the expression of the self.

Perhaps this coming week, I will change my professional bio and proudly state the degree and educational institution from which I graduated with joy. For I recall the day I graduated and felt immense accomplishment. Or perhaps I will state that I am a grateful person who wishes to simply survive in this world through the expertise I have acquired and share that expertise on behalf of organizations who wish to flourish with decent visual communication.

It wasn’t until later did I found myself punished and shamed for not having a degree. What I should have done at that moment is recognize the fear in others instead of turning it into self hatred and disgust. The disgust in myself had turned me into a design machine where I simply received data and spit out a design. I got tired of always looking into the eyes of those with advanced degrees and seeing judgement cast upon me. Perhaps it was imagined. It wasn’t in their minds, it was a reflection of my own thoughts.

The guilt and shame of not having a degree has always been magnified by my family – one filled with advanced degrees in Business, Art, Engineering, Education, Law, Data Science and more. The ones with degrees are listened to with respect and spoken of with pride. The ones without degrees are talked about with pity and remorse over a mind wasted.

Is any of it true? Does an advanced degree = advanced honor and respect?

The truth is, we are all loved. The truth is that we are all worthy of expressing ourselves in our daily lives. The truth is, we are all worthy of knowing we have enough each moment when it comes to survival. Safety. Creation of self. Nourishment. Intimate healthy connections. Strength. Love. Ability to communicate. Expression of wisdom. Connection to inner source of knowing. And being the essence of our ultimate selves throughout all dimensions.

Thank you.

I am loved. As are you.



Subsystems honor incomprehensible tesseracts

LilyTiger Creative ligned with Life Symbol with Tree of Light Poster

This year I learned to remember I am loved. Yes, learned to remember. Do you sometimes wander around the house and feel like you forgot something? It’s not a thing  . . . it’s a knowing.

Can it be that all the food, the things, the addictions, the actions are simply a plea to recall that which we are?  And once the recall reveals itself, the encouragement and work comes from cooperation and refined union with a common purpose.

Refined in a sense that each being and system has a specific role which is respected and honored. But at the same time, breaks away from the programming and cultural illusions.  This refined union combines the knowing of nature, other dimensions and the source within to cooperate in such a way to embrace the individual exactly as they are. To remind the individual consistently and thoroughly to continue to experience in the most simple way possible. Not only embrace what is but experience that which seemed impossible and did not enter into the imagination.

It’s not about existentialism. Or to experience with a numb sort of detachment. It’s the opposite. It is to connect.

Connect with that which resonates at a  frequencies unique to the learning to remember and collide to reveal underlying dimensions. It’s not just a love frequency or a healing frequency. It’s completely different. To accept full responsibility is a multidimensional frequency from all perspectives and layers at the same time. Incomprehensible in a sense that words cannot depict. Art can only attempt. But you can feel it in the music combined with the light and the fluid movement of the air, water, electricity and antiresonance.

The antiresonance which, when amplified, shifts at a speed unlike any other for it cannot be measured or defined. But it will appear in events which an individual can comprehend as a means to delight.

As reference, I encourage you to read about antiresonance here

An important result in the theory of antiresonances is that they can be interpreted as the resonances of the system fixed at the excitation point.[2] This can be seen in the pendulum animation above: the steady-state antiresonant situation is the same as if the left pendulum were fixed and could not oscillate. An important corollary of this result is that the antiresonances of a system are independent of the properties of the driven oscillator; i.e. they do not change if the resonance frequency or damping coefficient of the driven oscillator are altered.

This result makes antiresonances useful in characterizing complex coupled systems which cannot be easily separated into their constituent components. The resonance frequencies of the system depend on the properties of all components and their couplings, and are independent of which is driven. The antiresonances, on the other hand, are dependent upon the component being driven, therefore providing information about how it affects the total system. By driving each component in turn, information about all of the individual subsystems can be obtained, despite the couplings between them. This technique has applications in mechanical engineering, structural analysis,[3] and the design of integrated quantum circuits.[4]

A reference is how teachings and memories create a resonance and a place where an individual is stuck. But when memories are driven to the left and new information such as the words “I am loved,” is introduced, the information about the individual changes. New information is obtained despite the stories being told. Despite what the body remembers. Despite what the mind forgets.

This antiresonance takes place when an individual recalls “I am loved” through multidimensional healing practices like quantum healing and asking for help from etheric beings such as archangels and other benevolent beings. If consciously accepted and connected, the individual can then accept full responsibility and transition into a subsystem where miracles take place.

A real life example can be found in a previous post. “Shifting to High, I Take Full Responsibililty”

The post describes a detailed example of how driving systems of “the story” + “I am loved” + “Accepting full responsibility” + “Forgiveness” + “Gratitude” = A cooperative subsystem of multidimensional shifts. This underlying subsystem was always there, it simply was waiting to surface and transition into ease.

In summary, recall you are loved and relax into an unexpected experience.


Shifting to High, I Take Full Responsibility

You know when people say, “I’m sorry for your loss?” Have you ever felt compassion for others but couldn’t get to the, “I’m sorry” because if you did, then you’d be admitting to something you didn’t do. And by admitting to something you’d be punished and not loved.

Many, many times throughout my life, this has been the experience. I never felt loved as a child except for possibly a kind teacher or neighbor or a parent of a friend. It wasn’t that my parents were constantly traumatizing me. It only takes a few experiences as a small child to instill a sense of being unloved.  Because of the early trauma, my being internalized shame. To say, “I’m sorry” was something that threatened the basic need of feeling safe and connected with another. To say “I’m sorry” would drive the shame even deeper. Does that make sense? It’s ok if it doesn’t — read on and you’ll get it.

Bear with the pity story for a tiny bit longer. There is a purpose to it and a base from which I feel a need to explore the journey of healing for many that may help bring ease.

Breathe. The relevant part of the journey started a year or so ago when the integration of unconditional love expanded my consciousness. Opened me up in a way that was previously undefined and not comprehensible. For some, unconditional love is a concept they’ve known their entire lives but for others, it needs to be recalled. And gently invited out into the sunshine.

Unconditional love for me came through from a grandparent who passed. His spirit communicated through a medium for me — sending the message that he would have protected me when I was small. That was profound for me. I didn’t know someone wanted to protect me when I was small.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, you didn’t have it that bad. There are children in war zones and in areas of extreme poverty and other situations quite extreme.” Yes, but just as a drop of water represents all water. So does my experience represent the trauma of all traumatized children.

Where am I going with this?

Step into the present moment where I have recalled the power of forgiveness. Oh, so repetitive and boring it is to bring it up again and again. But wait, this time it’s different. Until now, it did not connect and I didn’t understand forgiveness to the degree I do now.

When the concept of forgiveness is introduced to someone who has experienced trauma, I feel it is critical that the first step be the recall of unconditional love. Why? Because if one does not know they are loved, then the concept of forgiveness is pointless. Sure, a person can say, “I forgive you” but what does that really mean? “I forgive you for torturing me for years? Not that it was ok, but I forgive you.” It did a little for me with regard to freedom or true healing and grace. It was like reciting something in a foreign language.

But . . . But! When a person knows they are loved and accepted exactly as they are, then the concept of forgiveness can be a beautiful catalyst for changed reality. To go from black and white to full color. To go from pastel to neon.

A surprising personal example

On July 10th of this year, I posted on social media that I was feeling emotional because it was the anniversary of an experience I had decades ago where I was chopped up by a boat prop in a lake. My friends were there and all were traumatized. In the past I was angry, sad, and have not talk to anyone involved for decades. In the post, the lake was evil and the events that took place had an impact on many people and nobody deserved any of it.

“Forgiveness is possible” — coming from a new place of knowing I am loved and also responsibility for the trauma inflicted on everyone that day.

“I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”

Knowing I am loved. I no longer blamed anyone for the events that took place. I took full responsibility for everything because I am connected to all those people. I represent all, just as the water droplet represents all water. My tears represent the tears of everyone.

After the post, I let it be. I didn’t dwell on it.

My tears, as I later realized, also represented the water of the lake. The energy of the lake. The recent and ancient stories of the lake.

About two or three weeks after the post, I was thinking of the young woman who had dove into the lake from a dock and was feared paralyzed. She had jumped into the same fated lake where my friends and I had been traumatized.

“How is she doing?” I asked someone who had recently visited the lake. “I was speaking to her father and he says, ‘She rode a bike four and a half miles the other day. And she says her legs hurt.'” I was flabbergasted. “Wow! That is so amazing! She’s doing a great job!”

There are a few other happy lake reports as well. The lake is clear. And a small child had the “best night of my life” while boating on it with his great uncle who had never been boating on the lake even though he grew up there. Finally boated on it after almost 60 years.

The forgiveness prayer and taking full responsibility

I did not correlate the young woman’s recovery with the forgiveness prayer posted on social media. That is, not until I participated in a retreat hosted by a friend, Molly Friedenfeld, last weekend. In the retreat, the focus was practicing a technique based on the forgiveness prayer – also ho’oponopono which was practiced by Dr. Len. I had heard of the prayer before but this weekend, it expanded with stating full responsibility.

5 Steps to the “Clean on it” forgiveness technique as taught by Molly Friedenfeld:

  1. Identify, recognize and acknowledge a low vibration thought, action, memory, or story. Pause with intent. Breathe.
  2.  Know you are loved. Pause. State, “I accept 100% responsibility for ________________________________.” (fill in the blank with the low vibration)
  3. Ask for help from others to move it to the light. The help can come from friends, loved ones who have passed, a source, benevolent beings, angels, archangels, etc.. They love to help with this kind of thing. You can feel them crowding the room sometimes!
  4. State, “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” as many times as you like. (or Ho’oponopono) The order does not matter. But the intent does so say it with an open heart and confidence.
  5. Feel the prayer transform into repeated statements of “I love you. Thank you.”

After the practice, let it go and trust. No need to check in on the status or control the outcome.

Repeat the technique with any and all low vibrations that pop up.

Another example of the effectiveness of the technique:

This one is for all the children. During the retreat over the weekend, I accepted full responsibility for all children who feel unwanted and unloved. I then asked for help from the circle of people with me and from Benevolent Beings to move the low vibration into the light. We all stated several times. “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” And then we let it go, with trust and without expectations. But there was hope 🙂

Later, in a separate conversation, a young mother expressed several times how her daughter would not put her head under water or learn how to swim. And then in a ceremony the mother stated she loves her daughter and fully accepts who she is. We celebrated this new way of thinking by talking about how her daughter might some day be on a swim team.

The next day, the mother of the girl and the grandmother reported happy news! The girl, had just been in a pool and went across the pool with her head under water! Wow!

None of us set that expectation but look at what happened with stating full responsibility and asking for assistance to shift low vibration to high vibration.

Responsibility for big and little

My vision is for all to know they are loved. And through that knowing, may we all state full responsibility for the low vibrations and transition them into the light.


Thank you for reading this post.