The seeds of my wound
surprise me daily
I never know what will take root
or what will blow away in the wind
or drown in a downpour.
It’s as if the seeds are like
the mystery gifts I’m told
I ordered but don’t recall
and can’t find the receipt.
There are scars
but I much prefer flowers.
Colorful bouquets please and thank you.
Fields and parkways
gardens and more.
tended or not,
it does not matter.
All that matters
is that I take notice.
Until I am free
I will be here
and there
and everywhere
looking up at the blue sky
and wonder where we are
until I am free
I will not go unnoticed
nor will I cower in fear
unleashing that which
surprises me
and gathers in the donation box
cuz free is the best gift
and prompts gratitude
in a world giving us all
exactly what we need
even if the cost seems unusually high.
Until I am free
I will be me.
I same me when I am free.
Opening eyes to the sky
and wonder why
but don’t deny
the many wonders
that await.
The purr of the cat
The sway of the grass
Even the invisible unknown
There is a tree waiting
to sing a silly song
and dance a joyful prance
but only if I ask.
And with that closure
each moment inspires me
to simply be.
The above was written after completing certification in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.
Awareness is like a fleeting moment
seeing a shadow out of the corner of my eye
wondering if it’s him or her
knowing that I’m not alone
lIke getting a message from a long ago
sent today as if it’s new
there were so many chances
to pay attention
but none of them stuck
and then the message came through
loud and clear
when I was ready
ready to say thank you
and decide this is the reason
nothing else is happening.
Wheels, wheels, wheels
Turning, turning, turning
Churning, churning, churning
Asking, asking, asking
for less.
Less noise
less roaring
less anger
more peace
more air
more space
more of me
less of them.
Gravel and tar
a bit too far
took me away
and I chose not to stay.
Slowly, slowly, slowly
they gave the gifts
of alternate choice
and different routes.
This is not meant for you.
Only for me.
As if there were voices
attached to the source
of the centered and aligned.
Yesterday I felt silenced and wrong
for feeling, feeling, feeling
crying, crying, crying
tears of confusion, frustration and self blame.
Asking for little
Receiving nothing.
There comes a time
when a thing isn’t a thing,
it’s more
much more.
When saying no
doesn’t matter.
When memories
turn into lies
and day becomes night.
There comes a time
when the tears soak through
the layers and layers of shame.
When there is no hope
and there is no joy.
When the self freezes in time.
And the burn hides the original
hidden at the bottom of the box.
The box of long lost laughter
and the wishes never granted.
There comes a time when there is no point
of ever looking forward
because the transmission locked in place
and reasons for being
never make the list.
Roughness
Warmth
Softly blowing the coolness on my skin
Feeling as if there are no words
Centering
Be with me beautiful Be
Discover not the ways of others
Fix not the ways of others
Without them the wheels turn
Breathing then stopping
Feeling the softness of something once so rough
I created the perception of the arrangement of molecules that solidify and take form in this dimension.
I acknowledge I exist in all dimensions known and unknown. In those dimensions creation takes place simultaneously.
And as my soul and body collide and greet each other again in this moment, I recall and accept I truly am a brilliant spark of divine light and consciousness to thine self be true. Amen.
In the peaceful garden health and harmony peacefully coexist.
I created the illusion of lost daughters. Of sons both brilliant, gentle and kind. Of sons generous, intelligent, all-knowing, honest and of this heaven on earth. I created a partner that guides me with an open heart and shows me the way and the parts of me that are yet to be forgiven. I created those who guide me and teach me.
I created the perception of the leaders and their unique qualities. I created the perception of suffering and the joy. I created the perception of many who blame and all those who accept responsibility.
At the same time, I create the tools that I use daily in this perception of reality for in the layers of creativity there are realms of industrial manufacturing of “stuff” that in this perception of reality assist in the experience in this dimension. I create these words, this computer, this connection to the digital interface and realm of communication necessary to express.
And as I sit here listening, I hear the machines, I hear the birds, I interpret the sound waves in such a way that it creates more layers to the perception of what i create. Add to that the temperature of the air, the aroma of flowers, the light of the sun, the condensation of moisture creating the clouds, the trees thriving in the cycle of their life, the ground which holds us dearly above and below.
I also created the perception that I somehow wished all of this to be true. That over the years, little by little, I was writing the script for all of this to be.
I am everything, I am nothing. I am the void. I am the perception created and express via a biological miracle. I am the vaccine. I am the cure.
I am the purple hyacinth
I am the terror
I am the forgotten
I am the remembered
I am the song
I am the breath
I am the struggle
I am the air
I am the rainbow
I am the waves
I am the whisper
and I am forgiven.
LilyTiger Creative 