The Iron Door of Confusion
“creativity”
I have been with you your entire life
A personal update and an important part of a grounded view on this journey of a Person Thriving and Surviving Daily.
Recently, the universe aligned in such a way to allow me to relocate. The important part is that I received the gift. To know I am loved and to know that I am worthy of setting myself free has been of utmost brilliance. Not brilliant as in genius mind but of brilliant light of loving kindness.
I heard the words, “think of yourself” mixed with other words of encouragement. I then checked in with myself and my life companion on a job relocation opportunity. “Yes” was the resounding response and “Why would you not do this?”
The drain was then unclogged and everything flowed freely for the first time in many years. Stagnant no more, I find creativity in every moment.
Creativity as in creating a life of loving kindness. Creating a life of thriving.
And thus, I share and teach that which is genuine truth in overcoming a life started in trauma. I life built upon a traumatic experience is now a life of undefined moments of gratitude prompted by the essence of angels on earth.
At one point someone told me to come back into my body. I did and on a time continuum, it has taken years but here a now it is simply what is. There are things we need to do as humans to survive with the basics – work to provide financial resources to in turn provide our bodies with that which allows us to know we are safe so that we may create, nourish, love, communicate, intuit and express the ultimate version of ourselves.
The relocation is also a transition is also a deployment. The mission is to experience life free of constant deflection and self-protection from the toxic environment in which I barely existed for decades.
Some might say I was fine. I wasn’t fine. Maybe a sarcastic “fine.” Some might say I was bitchy and angry all the time. Yes, I was. Some might say I was sad. Yes, I was sad. Some might say I was not living life to my full potential. Totally true.
But now, I look forward to experiencing a bit more of my true potential. Being “fine” as in, “you are lookin’ fine, girl!”, joyful, kind and loving. I’ll keep the pixie-like quality of being a big ornery at times. I turn on the confidence more often and the go-get-it. I turn on the humor. I turn on the dance. I turn on the compassion. And I turn on the kindness. I also turn on the “I’m in charge of myself” a bit more by communicating clearly what I need in order to do my life’s work.
To all of you out there that are feeling angry, lost, sad, rejected, hopeless and low-vibration please know that to persevere with integrity and self love is worth it. Not for the reward but to experience life as a person who will confidently do what needs to be done to thrive.
Thank you. I love you.
There once was a girl who stood with the pony
at the water’s edge looking forlorn and gloomy
And on the pony’s back appeared an angel saying,
“I’ve been with you your entire life”
and “I was there to protect you when you were small”
The girl looked down at the water and saw her reflection,
in the water now calm and clear
She saw herself riding a stallion, tall and proud
holding the staff of a warrior
and on her back were the angel’s wings
And so it is.
Synchronize and Hear Intrinsic Truths
Throw away the poison. Accept full responsibility. Do not blame marketing or business or ancestors or yourself. Simply know what helps your body to thrive. Focus on thriving. Throw the rest away. It’s not programming or cultural expectations. No. You are loved, therefore, you create. And when you create, you live. Much like the extra blanket during the cold nights, you add layers of loving kindness to comfort you in the dark. You create the warmth with a bit of help. And when morning breaks, you arise, discarding that which you no longer need to move through the moment.
The snow has transformed from liquid and travels here to release before you the miracles of unique individuality.
Keep writing. The words flow and cycle through like water transforming into snow transforming into that which motivates to act.
Page after page, stroke after stroke. Like the swimmer shimmering in the ocean, you stand out as a strong survivor on a destination. Sometimes limping, aching and exhausted. Other times strong and determined. Always encouraged from withing to carry on and with each stroke, the load lightens as you free yourself of the poison.
Where to you go when you do not know? Who knows? Moment by moment the angels sit with you, holding your hand. They urge you on and have always been with you. Experience the cold, the fluctuations in temperature and temperament.
Those that claim to know the future are simply communicating the synchronistic vibrations coming together as a communication tool that distracts you from creativitiy. This is different from body/emotion code work. The work done there is amazing and powerful, so when you hear the words “You’ve been busy,” it is truth.
And yes, it is correct when someone says, “I love you exactly as you are” is another way of saying, “I judge you and want you to match my expectations of you.” Yes, simply observe, witness and offer help as needed. Be there, love there and here and everywhere.
Thank you. I love you.
Streams Help Integrate Teachings
Today’s topic: POWER
(it is with trepidation that I write this for I do not want it to be misinterpreted by anyone. It comes from the most gentle and kind source. Only loving light work is expressed through this writing.)
Redefine power. Yes, we know you hear about power being this sword that brings suffering upon the masses. And so power that is gently and kind. And power that should not be trusted. All of that is truth.
But now we address personal power. It is personal responsibility. Power = responsibility + strength + compassion + confidence + intuitive wisdom + ultimate expression. The responsibility to be the ultimate expression of human kind. To be gentle and loving toward all. There need no be extreme fluctuations in temperament or circumstance. Compassion for all is key. Before any action, thought or word, let it be of loving kindness toward all. How do your actions make others feel? Let it be of only high vibration of light and love.
Yes, you are powerful. Yes, you do hold the sword. The crystal liquid charged with the multidimensional energies. Call it forth, you are granted the ability to utilize all with grace.
Erase the programming. Erase the judgements. The pity. Be one with the source within and lighten the load so it is lo longer a burden.
Feel. Do not judge. Do not attach or blame or fix. Observe and witness. Listen. Communicate. You are your own perfectly matched companion.
Get out of your head sister! You don’t need to be anywhere. You don’t even need to exist in the old paradigm known as reality. But here you are and thus we proceed. Ground the self in the knowing that all is well.
The bins, bags, boxes and containers of stuff. They are all an illusion and a result of the grasping to your need to know safety. Safety is a fear-based system created in the minds of those categorized as unloved. But no one is unloved. That is the programming you have the power to shift. Trust that you are carried in a realm where the cottage on the stream waits for you with the comfort and light that reflects the ultimate express of you, my love.
The fear of misinterpretation is no longer valid. For all who receive this message are enlightened and thus capable of seeing it for what it is. It is not some strange and other-worldly parable or teaching. It comes from the heart.
Oh, now that we are sharing, it shall be known that many are grateful for the assistance given to those who have transitioned (died) to help them cross over into the light to be received and embraced by their loved ones and their own source. That powerful action is a perfect example of power. It is all you are. Perhaps invite all to do the same. They do not have to cease in physical form. They can continue and feel the loving embrace of that which comforts and cradles all.
Be powerful, creative, brilliant, loving, gentle, kind, strong, confident, responsible, wise, intuitive and the ultimate expression of yourself.
And so it it with gratitude and grace, we are joyful and in awe of all.
Surrounded in Hugs Instead of Tyranny
I declare today a day of dependence on loving kindness, civility, healthy boundaries and compassion.
As most stories go, they are but interpretations and point of view of one person. If a group of individuals attends an event, even for 5 minutes, they will each tell their own unique story. Stories influenced by many factors.
It is entirely possible that I interpret “independence day” as one that not only declared a parcel of land and the people who parked their butts on it as independent from tyranny but also incorrectly assumed the parcel of land to “belong” to a very small group of individuals.
I read the Declaration of Independence and my interpretation of it was that it is a document written by a group of people that were coming together as a group of like-minded people to protect themselves from the tyranny of an individual. It names an individual but an individual cannot act alone. As a human beings, the founding “fathers” sought, as we all do, safety, intimate bonds with others, nourishment, sources of strength, creativity and loving kindness. And when the basic needs are met, we also develop and share our wisdom, recognize our intuition as a connection to our divine light within us and become the ultimate version of ourselves on all dimensions.
I recognize my interpretation does not align with everyone and that’s perfectly ok.
The Declaration of Independence is an example of creating healthy boundaries. “I am worthy of wellness and for the stated list of reasons, I declare that I act to ensure the wellness of my being.” Now, in this moment, I create healthy boundaries and I now enforce them consistently for the greatest good of my being.
At the same time, compassion and acceptance exists so that the act of forgiveness further demonstrates the healthy boundaries. Recognition of the reasons why others act is an observation and when they are objectively placed in a container, the person now becomes human again. I’ve recently experienced this very thing. There are people in my life that acted out of a need for survival. And, instead of me constantly feeling angry, I chose to embrace and love the person for who they are in this moment. But at the same time I also have healthy boundaries in place so that the treatment that harms does not become an issue.
That’s a bit abstract. I’ll leave it there.
Thank you for reading this post. It is one in a series call the “S.H.I.T. Chronicles.” where I flip concepts upside down and let go of that which is no longer needed.
Welcoming Creativity
This is a story about welcoming creativity and acknowledging the element of darkness as it relates to spending quiet time alone in reflection, connecting with others one-on-one, taking good care of yourself, sleeping well, paying attention to your teaching dreams and creating new things. The darkness helps all the other areas of our life to balance. Long, long ago we were taught to fear darkness. It is time to embrace darkness for there is nothing to fear. We are safe, powerful and loved.
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The time is back in a day before the industrial revolution. I’d like to introduce you to a character, Aikanah (Creative Crow of Darkness), a boy about 11 years old who was made fun of in his small village of Onu for encouraging others to dream and for paying attention to his own dreams.
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A few months ago, the people in the Onu village started having vivid dreams of things they did not understand. There were bright lights, roads, water, buildings and all kinds of colors. Not knowing what to think about them and not understanding the dreams, the people’s need for survival set in. Some were very afraid the dreams were a sign of the end of the world. They asked themselves, what did the dreams mean? Were they good? Bad? The people did not understand them or know what to do (they just weren’t ready). So they chose to ignore the dreams, not talk about them and keep as busy as possible.
Being a boy, only 11 years old, Aikanah loved all the dreams! He spoke of them with excitement to anyone who would listen. But he had not earned respect from many people because of his age. The people did not put much weight to his suggestions that everyone listen and pay attention to their dreams. One day, he gets in a fight with his friends and family over a dream journal he kept filled with drawings. His parents wanted to burn it. Frustrated and angry he runs away to the forest on the edge of the village to live on his own. Aikanah, who has a very creative mind, survives living from the earth and spending time with a bird who follows him everywhere.
One day, Aikanah climbs a tree, curious about the possibility of building a tree house. He falls and quite seriously hurts his upper chest. It hurts when he breathes and there is a lot of blood from a cut. Aikanah is not sure what to do so he lies on the ground in pain.
Along comes a young woman with long blonde hair, Akimitsu, (Powerful Tiger of the Sun). Akimitsu is accompanied by her dog, Azafum (Seeing Wolf of the Wind). They are on their daily walk in search of healing herbs which grow quite well in the sun near where they have found Aikanah.
Seeing Aikanah on the ground, Azafum, gently woofs and wags his tail in a concerned greeting. Normally he would be much louder and bounce with joy. But this time he senses something is wrong with the young man so the dog is much more gentle. Akimitsu looks down . . . she gasps at the sight of the blood coming from Aikanah’s wound but uses her friendly smile and lyrical voice to comfort him, “Would you like me to help you?” Aikanah, feeling relieved, says, “Ummm, yeah, thank you. I was climbing the tree and I fell and hit a rock.” His eyes are wide with fear and he is bleeding. He groans with each breath.
Akimitsu and the dog, Azafum, slowly guide the boy to the nearby home of Great Aunt Nyliram (Aunt Nilli — Earth Rabbit of Belonging) where they find Sister Ima (Singing Condor of Love). Ima has just returned home from one of her adventures to a nearby village in search of healing items. Ima, recently acquired a new scarf wrap and suggests using it for Aikanah’s wounds because she was told the scarf was made by a healer. Ima holds up the scarf. It is woven with the design of bird wings. Pink and green, it’s iridescent in the light. lma wraps the scarf around Aikanah — he starts to breathe a bit easier. Aunt Nilli quietly observes the situation. She has worked hard her entire life to make the space safe and welcoming and knows Aikanah has found the three women for a reason.
Aikanah’s pet bird has followed them to Aunt Nilli’s home. The bird sits on a nearby branch, singing. There are birds throughout the area which answer back. Aikanah, in weak voice, almost a whisper says, “Oh, my bird sings to me whenever I am sad or get hurt. It seems to help.” But then Aikanah collapses suddenly near the front door of Aunt Nilli’s home.
Sister Ima says, “Oh! What else can we do for you? I can see, we need some things from the village to bandage your wounds.” Ima has a large travel cart, so they gently sit Aikanah on the cart and use it to wheel him into the village. The three women, the dog and Aikanah slowly make their way to the village for help from the people (Thinking People of Oneness).
The people of the village Onu are the same people that had shunned Aikanah because they were afraid of their dreams. But today, they are in a good mood, having a celebration with food when the group arrives. At the entrance of the celebration area, Azafum, the dog who everyone loves, disarms the people with his usual friendly bark of greeting. Azafum’s friendly bark and tail wagging always helps everyone relax. They love the dog as he is known for his nudges and hugs. Akimitsu makes a joke about the dog being there only for the food, which he smelled miles away. “Forget about how good he can see, his sense of smell is even better!”
The people at the entrance of the celebration area then notice Aikanah who is sitting hunched over on Ima’s large luggage cart. His eyes are closed and he is bleeding from the wound. The pain is quite evident with every breath he takes, he groans.
Xela (Truth seeking water Frog), one of the men at the entrance exclaims, “Oh my! Is this the boy who went off into the forest months ago? What does he need from us?” Great Aunt Nilli replies, “Well, for one thing you can get us some bandages. But we also noticed that Aikanah calms down when his pet bird sings to him. He seems to relax when he hears it. Could you find a student of yours to sing him a song while I bandage up his wounds?” Aunt Nilli knows singing and music is a rare occurrence in the village but she remembers it from her days as a young child. Xela has many students and is open-minded so he looks around.
Xela, who is a teacher, looks around and finds a group of his older students sitting at a sturdy table. He says to them, “Hey, you guys always brag about all the songs you write. Do you have a song that might help this young man here? Great Aunt Nilli says music calms him down.” The group of 3 teens look up. “Huh?” — they had been whispering for a while, sharing their dreams with one another. The things they had in common in the separate dreams were the words — almost like a chant. They didn’t know why they suddenly all mentioned the dream — for dreaming was something nobody talks about openly. Today was different.
Today was the day they reveal to the Onu People something they only whisper about. (or in some cases brag about to their friends) The 3 teens stand up, mostly out of respect for Xela who is a very kind teacher. The teens look at each other, grinning and nodding their usual “yep, we can do this together” look. One starts and then the other two join in. They start quietly but then pick up and really get into it, drumming on the table and chanting louder and louder but with confidence and an ease which seems to come from a different world.
The chant catches on … with the encouragement of a few rebel rousers. And the crowd starts in and it becomes a completely different energy. Akimitsu, Ima and Aunt Nilli look at one another and then at Aikanah who is bandaged now. His bleeding has stopped. He rises from the cart. His eyes bright, he smiles for the first time in many months. Akimitsu steps up on the edge of the fountain and shouts joyfully, “Look! Look! Look at what your song is doing for Aikanah! Welcome back!”
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The main character is inspired by several people but mostly Jessica, Zack and Hanakia. Jessica’s passion and commitment to her art is an inspiration. Zack has always been in tune with himself and goes his own way, teaching me so much. Hanakia (Aikanah) has carved a path for himself and changes the lives of so many people through connection, creativity, courage, honesty and tenacity. The story is a bit inspired by the character in the book “My side of the mountain” which is one of my favorites. Marilyn is Great Aunt Nyliram (Nilli) is a very wise mentor and healer. Alex (Xela) is a gifted teacher and strong leader. The scarf in the story is from the scarf my son Alex brought back for me from Afghanistan. The musical teens are inspired by my nephews CJ, Lukas and Sklyer. My sister Jami inspired Ima – for her gentleness, sense of adventure and wisdom. The dog, Azafum is inspired by our collie Kramer Mufasa for every reason you read in the book. He passed years ago but continues to comfort and guide. The people of the village are representative of all people. They have good hearts but have been distracted. Dean is the fountain in the village that gives Akimitsu support at the end of the story to shout, “Look! Look!” The bird in the story is inspired by my father who suggested I read a book called, “Bird by Bird” last year which changed the way I think about writing. My father has been a gentle guide of inspiration to me as a person. And I’m in there too of course with the character Akimitsu.
Many thanks to all the people in my life and throughout my life for reflecting back at me my truth. We are all one.
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As a note. I have been working on changing the elements as they relate to our physical, emotional and spiritual systems. This is how they’ve been working out. So far it’s been very interesting.
Element — Chakra — Purpose — Color– Animal
1 Earth — Root — Belong — Red — Rabbit
2 Darkness — Sacral — Create/Connect — Black — Crow
3 Light/Fire — Core/Solar Plexus — Power — Yellow — Tiger
4 Ether/Sound — Heart — Love — Pink/Green — Condor
5 Water — Throat — Truth — Blue — Frog
6 Air/Wind/Breath — 3rd Eye — Seeing — Indigo — Wolf
7 Thought — Crown — All is One — Violet/White — People
8 Nothingness — — — —
LilyTiger Creative 