— Wendy Who Walks With Wildflowers
A personal update and an important part of a grounded view on this journey of a Person Thriving and Surviving Daily.
Recently, the universe aligned in such a way to allow me to relocate. The important part is that I received the gift. To know I am loved and to know that I am worthy of setting myself free has been of utmost brilliance. Not brilliant as in genius mind but of brilliant light of loving kindness.
I heard the words, “think of yourself” mixed with other words of encouragement. I then checked in with myself and my life companion on a job relocation opportunity. “Yes” was the resounding response and “Why would you not do this?”
The drain was then unclogged and everything flowed freely for the first time in many years. Stagnant no more, I find creativity in every moment.
Creativity as in creating a life of loving kindness. Creating a life of thriving.
And thus, I share and teach that which is genuine truth in overcoming a life started in trauma. I life built upon a traumatic experience is now a life of undefined moments of gratitude prompted by the essence of angels on earth.
At one point someone told me to come back into my body. I did and on a time continuum, it has taken years but here a now it is simply what is. There are things we need to do as humans to survive with the basics – work to provide financial resources to in turn provide our bodies with that which allows us to know we are safe so that we may create, nourish, love, communicate, intuit and express the ultimate version of ourselves.
The relocation is also a transition is also a deployment. The mission is to experience life free of constant deflection and self-protection from the toxic environment in which I barely existed for decades.
Some might say I was fine. I wasn’t fine. Maybe a sarcastic “fine.” Some might say I was bitchy and angry all the time. Yes, I was. Some might say I was sad. Yes, I was sad. Some might say I was not living life to my full potential. Totally true.
But now, I look forward to experiencing a bit more of my true potential. Being “fine” as in, “you are lookin’ fine, girl!”, joyful, kind and loving. I’ll keep the pixie-like quality of being a big ornery at times. I turn on the confidence more often and the go-get-it. I turn on the humor. I turn on the dance. I turn on the compassion. And I turn on the kindness. I also turn on the “I’m in charge of myself” a bit more by communicating clearly what I need in order to do my life’s work.
To all of you out there that are feeling angry, lost, sad, rejected, hopeless and low-vibration please know that to persevere with integrity and self love is worth it. Not for the reward but to experience life as a person who will confidently do what needs to be done to thrive.
Thank you. I love you.
There once was a girl who stood with the pony
at the water’s edge looking forlorn and gloomy
And on the pony’s back appeared an angel saying,
“I’ve been with you your entire life”
and “I was there to protect you when you were small”
The girl looked down at the water and saw her reflection,
in the water now calm and clear
She saw herself riding a stallion, tall and proud
holding the staff of a warrior
and on her back were the angel’s wings
And so it is.
This is for all the men and women out there whose sadness is so deep that they simply cannot comprehend why anyone would like or love them.
The other night was a repeat scene that has been going on for decades in my home. Over and over again. The ratings of the rerun slipping each time. The same damn sob story as I stand in the corner of a room and cry about this and that. But mostly that. That old story of not being loved, of rape, of hating myself, of wanting to die every day of my life. Telling him that he is a good person and deserves to live with someone who is capable of loving him and doesn’t go on and on with the same sob story.
The stories are fabricated to destruct. The self sabotage rampant. But when the love is real, the angels stand strong and endure.
“Why don’t you let me go?”
“Because I love you.”
For someone who has never experienced true love or self love until recently, it’s very difficult to understand fully that another human being or angelic guide is capable of loving so fiercely, that letting go is not an option. It’s not an easy relationship some days. Most days are superficially ok. Chattering away about work and the pets. Then retreat to separate spaces. Separate rooms. Separate dimensions. Separation is a must. Physical and emotional space are key.
Space to change and evolve. Changing the mindset to recall the brilliance of love is a process. Unrecognizable at first, it shows up as a surprising friendship or tears flowing freely during a walk or a drive. The best experience is while sitting quietly with the dog or cat and feeling the love flow unconditionally from them. Those are the tears that make the loudest noise, breaking the sound barrier of a heart closed off with many layers.
The layers thin and dissipate. The heart illuminates. On occasion, there will be a fleeting moment followed by, “It was so nice to see you happy. I just want you to be happy.” It’s difficult and feels strange to hear the words. “But why?” It’s like a foreign language at first. Sooner or later the language is understood and trusted.
Today as I celebrate the first day of the rest of my life I trust the multidimensional being that is Wendy. I practice seeing and feeling for the first time. I let go of the story. It is no longer me. I am born in the essence of love.
To those of you who know someone or are that person who just does not understand the language of love, I encourage you to keep trying. Turn the letters PTSD into Person Thriving and Surviving Daily. Shift happens and you’ll find yourself carried by the etheric currents which angels fly. Open your heart and soul to angelic guides. They surround you and patiently wait for you to sing.
Thank you again. I feel honored and blessed to share these words with you.
In the Illumination Process post, I discussed the stages of illumination. Today’s guidance reveals several other factors effecting the stages and what we can do to help the process in a positive way.
Many are born fully illuminated. They are our greatest teachers. But most go through the illumination process in their own way. Each unique and perfect.
Knowing there are options to know peace, acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness, love and joy is a journey worthy of all.
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Pre-illumination Stage:
We start with a simple diagram of an energy being. Much like a glow stick in a package. The 7 energy centers aligned, doing their thing to help us go about the business of daily life. A protective shell, also called the ego, surrounds the energy centers of the energy being. Around the shell is the soul space. The new energy centers waiting in the soul space ready for illumination.
External negative forces include anything and anyone with negative energy. External positive forces include anything and anyone with positive energy.
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Ignition Stage:
In a simple scenario where life is calm and ideal, an external negative force breaks through the soul space and snaps the protective shell. The heart center reacts by releasing from the protective shell.
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Sensitive Response to Negative Forces:
The above scenario would be ideal. But ,of course, rarely a reality. So, here is an example of what happens when a sensitive energy being comes into the world. There are two different scenarios:
In both cases, if the heart releases, it senses the hostile environment and retreats back into the protective shell. The energy being then adds a layer to the protective shell.
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Sensitive Response Advanced Stage:
The energy centers within start to dim and shrink with an advanced response to negative forces. There are two different scenarios here as well:
At this stage the energy being is susceptible to disease, accidents and violence. The negative emotions of anger, denial, remorse, guilt, instability, lack, grief, unworthiness, confusion and others become common. The negative emotions create a state of constant fight or flight. Survival. Creating enough energy within to survive.
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Internal Decision to Change:
The internal decision to change is prompted by an event that triggers a memory. This emotional trigger is very, very strong. Strong enough for change to happen from within.
Often times the trigger acts as a recall of the original negative force – such as a childhood memory, ancestral ties, social event or other original source.
The positive outlook and hope for change becomes strong enough to override the adrenaline of the negative emotions. Gratitude.
This decision to change acts to thin the protective shell, attracts positive external forces and the energy centers grow stronger. The heart center enlarges and opens.
A personal example: my son’s enlistment in the military triggered a strong emotional response in me. My hope for his safety was greater than any other adrenaline rush I had survived on. The hope for his safety was directly related to a personal memory. The perfect catalyst for my internal change. My heart opened and I looked for solutions. I found gratitude for the present moment, meditation and Chakra balancing for daily survival. A paradigm shift from within.
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Choice — get back on track with illumination or to retreat back into the protective shell:
The energy being makes choices every moment. Move forward or retreat back into the protective shell.
If moving forward, eventually, more and more positive forces surround the soul space. Illuminated beings, positive experiences, guides, angels, earthly angels, teachers, and events. Strong emotions such as love and gratitude override all negative forces
A personal example here is when I was given a “6 months to live” diagnosis. That was over 11 years ago! The love and gratitude I have for my children was stronger than giving up. There must have been self-love as well. I decided to move forward and be with my children instead of leave. I accepted angels, joy, love and peace in my life.
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Attraction Stage:
If the moving forward, the heart center expands and acts as a magnet, drawing in the new energy centers. The protective shell becomes permeable, allowing positive energy to enter and release.
If retreating into the shell, the cycle repeats itself until the choice is made to move forward.
In my life, I experienced a sense of peace for years after my son enlisted and after the diagnosis. But then my son deployed overseas and I regressed into anger and unworthiness. At that time, I made the choice to retreat into a very dark place. It lasted for several years until I recalled the power within to open my heart. This most recent decision has attracted a series of divine experiences. I will tell you more about my recent journey of illumination in a separate post.
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Alignment Stage:
The new energy centers come into alignment and radiate. The protective shell completely dissolves. The soul space hugs the energy centers closer. Each of the new energy centers radiate an energy so strong and positive that the protective shell is permeable.
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Illuminated Stage
The illuminated stage is a simple state of joy, love, safety, wisdom, connection and peace. Energy beings at this stage of illumination spread light every moment now and forever through their thoughts, actions and existence. This stage of illumination has an exponential effect on all.
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Knowing there are options to recall peace, acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness, love and joy is a journey worthy of all.
I send love and light to all. I am because we are.
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Meditation for illumination.
Record yourself reading this slowly and then play it back for a better experience.
⁃ Stand with your feet hip-distance apart or with them touching or seated with both feet on the ground. Whatever feels best to you.
⁃ Close your eyes. Roll your shoulders back.
⁃ Balance the right and left hemispheres of your brain. The masculine and feminine energies. Place your hands in prayer position in front of your heart. Press your thumbs into your sternum at the center of your chest.
⁃ Bend your knees slightly. Come up on the balls of your feet and then place your heels lightly on the floor.
⁃ Imagine a string pulling the top of your head up to the sky. Your spine aligning gently like a strand of beautiful pearls on the side of a strong, majestic tree.
⁃ Connect with your light within. With each breath go deeper and deeper within yourself. Feel the warm light.
⁃ Take 3 deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
⁃ Open your eyes. If you feel dizzy, please sit down.
⁃ Starting from the top of your head, tap or pat lightly from the top of your head all the way down your face, neck, arms, body, legs and down to your feet.
⁃ Pause at your feet. Breathe. Visualize a warm red light.
⁃ That warm red light extends like roots from the bottom of your feet into the earth. Your roots give stability to the earth. Feel safe and secure.
⁃ Repeat. “I AM SAFE. I AM MOVING FORWARD” three times.
⁃ Bring that warm red light up the roots through your feet and up your legs. Pat your feet and legs all the way up to your belly button. Pat. Pat. Pat.
⁃ Rest both of your hands on your belly button. Visualize an orange light. Pause. Breathe.
⁃ Here at the belly button, know you are nourished and intuitively know what you need every moment.
⁃ Repeat “I AM INSPIRED AND I AM NOURISHED.” three times.
⁃ Bring your hands out in front of you with your palms facing up. Feel a yellow light. Pause. breathe
⁃ With the yellow light, manifest all you need and know you are worthy. Accept it into every part of your being. Bring your hands together in gratitude.
⁃ Repeat “I AM WORTHY AND I AM STRONG.” three times. Pause. Breathe
⁃ Bring your hands now to your heart. Visualize the color green. Pause with your hands at your heart center at the center of your chest. Breathe.
⁃ Feel the green color within you. It fills your lungs with each breath. And with each breath it radiates out like the branches of a magnificent tree. Visualize the green light extending out as far as you can imagine and further. You are receiving unconditional love, peace and compassion.
⁃ Move your hands out and up as if they are the branches of a beautiful tree. The green leaves giving life. Sway and soar with the air currents.
⁃ Repeat three times “I AM LOVED. I AM ACCEPTED.”
⁃ Bring your hands up each arm, wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug. Receive that green light full of unconditional love and compassion. Pause. Breathe it all in.
⁃ Move your hands up to your face. Place a hand on each cheek. Visualize a silver blue light. Pause. Breathe.
⁃ This silver blue light radiates out from your 3rd eye. Visualize the silver blue light that helps you communicate with your your soul and the souls of others. The silver blue light is much like the silver blue clouds of the sky. Pause and know you are connected to spirit and your soul, receiving crystal-clear guidance every moment. Breathe.
⁃ Gently trace or tap your nose, cheeks, ears and the back of your head. Up and around your forehead. Your ears. your chin, your jaw.
⁃ Breathe it in the silver blue light. Exhale it out. Pause with your fingers at your 3rd eye.
⁃ Repeat three times, “I AM CONNECTED WITH MY SOUL AND I AM KNOWING.”
⁃ We’re now at the top of your head. Bring both hands up, way up above your head. As far as you can comfortably reach. Feel a violet light filling the space between your hands. Pause. Breathe.
⁃ Visualize a white light with gold flecks extending as far up above your hands as you can imagine. The light takes you places you have never been before. Here you have a divine connection, recall all that your soul knows as truth. Know you are free to release those hidden truths.
⁃ Wiggle your fingers and sprinkle that white light over your body.
⁃ Repeat three times, “I AM PEACEFUL AND I AM TRUTHFUL.”
⁃ With your hands extended up above your head, reach up and then bring them out to either side as if in a bubble. See the white light extending out and protecting you. Bring your hands down toward the earth bring them back together in prayer position at your heart center. Rub them together briskly. Place one on each side of your face and open your eyes.
⁃ Repeat your name 3 times. “I AM ____________________.”
⁃ Welcome to the present moment. Be with this moment and know you are and always have been and always will be illuminated from within.
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⁃ Thank you!
— Wendy
LilyTiger Creative 