Why Don’t You Let Me Go?
This is for all the men and women out there whose sadness is so deep that they simply cannot comprehend why anyone would like or love them.
The other night was a repeat scene that has been going on for decades in my home. Over and over again. The ratings of the rerun slipping each time. The same damn sob story as I stand in the corner of a room and cry about this and that. But mostly that. That old story of not being loved, of rape, of hating myself, of wanting to die every day of my life. Telling him that he is a good person and deserves to live with someone who is capable of loving him and doesn’t go on and on with the same sob story.
The stories are fabricated to destruct. The self sabotage rampant. But when the love is real, the angels stand strong and endure.
“Why don’t you let me go?”
“Because I love you.”
For someone who has never experienced true love or self love until recently, it’s very difficult to understand fully that another human being or angelic guide is capable of loving so fiercely, that letting go is not an option. It’s not an easy relationship some days. Most days are superficially ok. Chattering away about work and the pets. Then retreat to separate spaces. Separate rooms. Separate dimensions. Separation is a must. Physical and emotional space are key.
Space to change and evolve. Changing the mindset to recall the brilliance of love is a process. Unrecognizable at first, it shows up as a surprising friendship or tears flowing freely during a walk or a drive. The best experience is while sitting quietly with the dog or cat and feeling the love flow unconditionally from them. Those are the tears that make the loudest noise, breaking the sound barrier of a heart closed off with many layers.
The layers thin and dissipate. The heart illuminates. On occasion, there will be a fleeting moment followed by, “It was so nice to see you happy. I just want you to be happy.” It’s difficult and feels strange to hear the words. “But why?” It’s like a foreign language at first. Sooner or later the language is understood and trusted.
Today as I celebrate the first day of the rest of my life I trust the multidimensional being that is Wendy. I practice seeing and feeling for the first time. I let go of the story. It is no longer me. I am born in the essence of love.
To those of you who know someone or are that person who just does not understand the language of love, I encourage you to keep trying. Turn the letters PTSD into Person Thriving and Surviving Daily. Shift happens and you’ll find yourself carried by the etheric currents which angels fly. Open your heart and soul to angelic guides. They surround you and patiently wait for you to sing.
Thank you again. I feel honored and blessed to share these words with you.