I have been with you your entire life

A personal update and an important part of a grounded view on this journey of a Person Thriving and Surviving Daily.

Recently, the universe aligned in such a way to allow me to relocate. The important part is that I received the gift. To know I am loved and to know that I am worthy of setting myself free has been of utmost brilliance. Not brilliant as in genius mind but of brilliant light of loving kindness.

I heard the words, “think of yourself” mixed with other words of encouragement. I then checked in with myself and my life companion on a job relocation opportunity. “Yes” was the resounding response and “Why would you not do this?”

The drain was then unclogged and everything flowed freely for the first time in many years. Stagnant no more, I find creativity in every moment.

Creativity as in creating a life of loving kindness. Creating a life of thriving.

And thus,  I share and teach that which is genuine truth in overcoming a life started in trauma. I life built upon a traumatic experience is now a life of undefined moments of gratitude prompted by the essence of angels on earth.

At one point someone told me to come back into my body. I did and on a time continuum, it has taken years but here a now it is simply what is. There are things we need to do as humans to survive with the basics – work to provide financial resources to in turn provide our bodies with that which allows us to know we are safe so that we may create, nourish, love, communicate, intuit and express the ultimate version of ourselves.

The relocation is also a transition is also a deployment. The mission is to experience life free of constant deflection and self-protection from the toxic environment in which I barely existed for decades.

Some might say I was fine. I wasn’t fine. Maybe a sarcastic “fine.” Some might say I was bitchy and angry all the time. Yes, I was. Some might say I was sad. Yes, I was sad. Some might say I was not living life to my full potential. Totally true.

But now, I look forward to experiencing a bit more of my true potential. Being “fine” as in, “you are lookin’ fine, girl!”, joyful, kind and loving. I’ll keep the pixie-like quality of being a big ornery at times. I turn on the confidence more often and the go-get-it. I turn on the humor. I turn on the dance. I turn on the compassion. And I turn on the kindness. I also turn on the “I’m in charge of myself” a bit more by communicating clearly what I need in order to do my life’s work.

To all of you out there that are feeling angry, lost, sad, rejected, hopeless and low-vibration please know that to persevere with integrity and self love is worth it. Not for the reward but to experience life as a person who will confidently do what needs to be done to thrive.

Thank you. I love you.


There once was a girl who stood with the pony

at the water’s edge looking forlorn and gloomy

And on the pony’s back appeared an angel saying,

“I’ve been with you your entire life”

and “I was there to protect you when you were small”

The girl looked down at the water and saw her reflection,

in the water now calm and clear

She saw herself riding a stallion, tall and proud

holding the staff of a warrior

and on her back were the angel’s wings


And so it is.



I am here to hold your hand.

“I am here to hold your hand. I want to be with you as you travel this journey, take you by the hand as a very small child and lead to you safety,” my grandfather said to me.

Before we continue, I want to express thank you for spending your time reading this post.

As I mentioned in “The Veil is Thin” post, I am getting to know my paternal grandfather for the first time in 55 years. He’s in spirit. I am with spirit so we communicate quite well. I feel loved and transformed. Someone told me to be grateful. And I am always, it’s just that only love and sadness exist for me. So gratitude resides within love. It’s a given.

The first evening after I was introduced to Super G, he laid the ground work and shared a bit more of his wisdom and perhaps a warm up for what was to come. I chose the name Super G because I don’t know his name. My father’s adoption papers and birth certificate do not name his birth father. But he showed me a cape and has a sense of humor and loves to protect so I call him Super G.

Here is a summary of a channeled message the day after our introduction:

Super G here . . . . aha! I love you so much. I remind you that we went back together to all the moments when you were not loved the way you should have been loved. I hold your hand and together we walk away, saying, “no thank you, I am worth more than what you are offering this moment. I am worth all the gold in Spain.” We go to a safe place where you are loved by all the angels of the multidimensional universe sprinkled with fairy dust. You are my sweet love. You are a princess worthy of the most comfortable, beautiful, delicious and joyful. Many birds flying all around you today, did you see them? They are curious as to why you did not open the door, they would have come in to sing to you. sweet caroling. boom boom boom.. hahahahaha. Just like that, they would sing to you. with kindness and love. For the wisdom of the ages is more than likely the answers to everything you ask.

When there is exponential light in the universe, it is also in equal measures with darkness but the darkness is not the evil those speak of. The darkness is simply a balance of the energy of light. Like the winter balances the summer. It is simply a time to recharge your batteries. Look to darkness by closing your eyes and knowing the truth. Much etheric wonder takes place in the darkness.

You are illuminating others with your brilliance. and when they reflect that brilliance back, it is an affirmation of your true purpose and you are living your true purpose.

Round and round you went in circles and the circles are love are love are love. Around the circles and then step outside them to spread your wings for you are no longer contained in the circle of love and light. You radiate like the beautiful illustration of the tree of light. Yes the tree of light. That is you my sweetness. And I am the grandfather of the light for I am the grandfather of you. I go beyond the light and am the essence of that which you are not able to see or imagine but simply be with it, just as you would with the subtle sensation of floating in the ocean on a beautiful sunny and calm day. The bliss of the abyss. the strength of the strong song song song song song … there we gooooooo! Take it nice and slow.

And that’s the way it goes sometimes, only Super G is much more fluent and expressive than my other spirit guides. It’s fun and exhausting at the same time. I place boundaries around the amount of time I sit at the keyboard and when the messages come through. It is only with my permission and my request. There are other ways of communicating, like the color of vehicles. Turns out that all red vehicles are signs of protection. This is new to me because previously I had interpreted red vehicles as a warning. Protection is much nicer!

Protection is much nicer. Don’t you agree? I’ve been working on feeling safe my entire life. A fleeting feeling that I gave up on at times. I feel safe now. Just like I always do when I am in the presence of my oldest son. When I am with him, it seems the world could crumble and everything would be ok in our little bubble of safety.

Safety is important when connecting with spirit guides. Just because a spirit wants to be your guide does not mean that you have to accept the guidance or invitation for it is completely a choice. The guidance of Super G, my grandfather, is very welcome and we are having fun! It’s not like I sit around at a table and we have tea together and chat about stuff. I spend a few minutes at a time typing or writing down the messages that come through. All I do is connect and let the messages flow.

Flow! Wow. I am at a time in my life where I am able to instantly manifest for the greatest good. I wondered why it was happening for me and a friend said, “Because it’s coming from your heart.” That makes me cry every time. I am so grateful.

Grateful for all the instant healing that is going on with the help of my spirit grandfather. The message was that he would hold my hand as a child and walk away from situations that were not kind and loving.

First hand-holding experience and correction was going back to the time when I was four or five years old. A visit to the doctor was in order either for an illness or school exam. My mom was in the waiting room with my little sisters. While in the room alone with the doctor, he touched me in ways no one should ever touch another.

I’ve worked on this experience before. Tried to change the effects. Tried to rid my cells of the debris. Tried to change the perception. Once I visualized burning all the records so that I was never a patient. I tried to change the rules so that the man never became a doctor. Nothing worked, I still held on to the effects. I realize why. I do not have control over what happens to others for it is their path and their life journey. I can only effect my own experience. Either interpret it differently or choose a different path.

This time, I choose a different path. A high frequency, loving path. And with my spirit grandfather, we changed the energetic vibration of the essence of being.

I choose to allow only loving, kind and gentle medical professionals and men into my life. Men specifically for many reasons. Some obvious here.

With the energy shift, comes profound healing. I now know only loving kindness at the hands of medical professionals and men. Do you know how that changes my ENTIRE LIFE? DO YOU?

Here’s a list to start it off.

  1. Confidence in myself that what I communicate will be honored
  2. My body heals quickly with the onset of an illness or injury. So instead of attacking me, my cells are strong and have a force that prevents illness or repairs damaged cells.
  3. My body has a strong immune system that changes the energy of the germs before they can become harmful
  4. Trust that I belong on this earth
  5. The physical manifestation of love is radiance and wellness
  6. The emotional manifestation of love is joy
  7. I approach medical professionals and men as equals

The list above expands. Use your imagination. I could go on and on with a list of at least 1,000 more items. The comprehension of knowing love as a small child has an exponential effect. The creation of reality is now an essence of safety, belonging, strength and love.

The strength, safety and love I could not have realized until I opened my heart to receive love. And reach out to hold the hand of my spirit guide, Super G.

Love, it’s an over-used word but it’s the only term I have at this point to describe what I know. I had a different definition in my mind of love previously. And that’s another shift. An enormous shift. It happens like the slow growth of blossoms on a tree in a gentle spring.

I can never remember being told I was loved as a child. Never. Until now with the help of a kind guide. Now, I know I am love, loved and loving.

With gratitude and grace, I get to integrate the healing of knowing only loving kindness from medical professionals and men. Plus it’s fun to visualize an awesome grandfather holding my hand and leading me to safety.

Thank you again. May you know and recall whatever it is that helps you through life.