Chaotic Competitive Comparison

I recently catapulted myself off of Facebook. It was like divorcing an abusive partner who was shoving in my face photos and stories of why I was not good enough to be alive in this world.

The instance that got me to deactivate my account was a group of friends posted a photo of themselves spending the day together. I felt like the unwanted sister. The rejected one. And it was not their intent to leave me out of the gathering at all. But it felt the same.

Here’s why it’s better to be off social media for me in this particular instance. Very simple. And I LOVE to keep things simple. I would not have known they got together! Maybe would of heard of it later but it would have felt different.

Surprising results from lack of Facebook is leading me into a detox phase of my life. I am actually feeling the physical effects as well. And am SO looking forward to the day that I feel free and better and well and balanced. The realization came to me a few minutes ago that the constant comparison of myself to all the people I love so much has been completely overwhelming. As a human, it’s impossible not to compare and judge when you see the people you care about post photos or phrases or emotional passages. I tried to sit back and simply witness but I care too much. I felt sad when I read my nephew’s violent lyrics. I felt sad when my niece and stepmother exchanged words publicly about gun control and to read how disrespectful my niece was to my step mom.

And then over the weekend, after having a conversation with a couple of my sisters about how they feel they lacked the love and care they deserved as children growing. up. One of my sisters thinks she would have become so much more if she had a different childhood.

But what if you weren’t constantly comparing yourself to others? If you simply trusted that who you were in any given moment was the divine expression of yourself. Titles do not matter. The number of likes and shares do not matter. You simply are loved for who you are in any given moment. The angels. The sky. The earth. All loves you just as you are.

I anticipate this outcome. That through my choice to let go of that which I do not need. In this case it is Facebook. I anticipate changes in all of my relationships. All of them.


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