Roughness
Warmth
Softly blowing the coolness on my skin
Feeling as if there are no words
Centering
Be with me beautiful Be
Discover not the ways of others
Fix not the ways of others
Without them the wheels turn
Breathing then stopping
Feeling the softness of something once so rough
I created the perception of the arrangement of molecules that solidify and take form in this dimension.
I acknowledge I exist in all dimensions known and unknown. In those dimensions creation takes place simultaneously.
And as my soul and body collide and greet each other again in this moment, I recall and accept I truly am a brilliant spark of divine light and consciousness to thine self be true. Amen.
In the peaceful garden health and harmony peacefully coexist.
I created the illusion of lost daughters. Of sons both brilliant, gentle and kind. Of sons generous, intelligent, all-knowing, honest and of this heaven on earth. I created a partner that guides me with an open heart and shows me the way and the parts of me that are yet to be forgiven. I created those who guide me and teach me.
I created the perception of the leaders and their unique qualities. I created the perception of suffering and the joy. I created the perception of many who blame and all those who accept responsibility.
At the same time, I create the tools that I use daily in this perception of reality for in the layers of creativity there are realms of industrial manufacturing of “stuff” that in this perception of reality assist in the experience in this dimension. I create these words, this computer, this connection to the digital interface and realm of communication necessary to express.
And as I sit here listening, I hear the machines, I hear the birds, I interpret the sound waves in such a way that it creates more layers to the perception of what i create. Add to that the temperature of the air, the aroma of flowers, the light of the sun, the condensation of moisture creating the clouds, the trees thriving in the cycle of their life, the ground which holds us dearly above and below.
I also created the perception that I somehow wished all of this to be true. That over the years, little by little, I was writing the script for all of this to be.
I am everything, I am nothing. I am the void. I am the perception created and express via a biological miracle. I am the vaccine. I am the cure.
I am the purple hyacinth
I am the terror
I am the forgotten
I am the remembered
I am the song
I am the breath
I am the struggle
I am the air
I am the rainbow
I am the waves
I am the whisper
and I am forgiven.
Thank you Mother
thank you Father
thank you sisters, brothers
thank you for teaching me
to love myself with gentle kindness
thank you for teaching me
to set healthy boundaries.
Thank you for showing up
when I could not.
For a bit without wit, the murky stench of unworthiness crept through and then dissipated as the mayflies fill the sky and then die.
—————-
Benevolent Beings, be with me as I brave the cavers encasing the waters of filth and murk. As I trek through the sludge and find gems throughout. May the gems be one with the muck and not be established as better or worse. May I know that the muck is the same as the flower. Even the poisons make way for beauty as if beauty were better than the poison. The poisonous bliss of eternity flickers in the night forthright coming through and through. May the sadness illustrate the gladness through a filter of madness.
And so it is.
This writing comes after a day of fearfully consuming material possessions so that loved ones might feel welcome. And at the exit of the opulence, there sits a man pleading for life. Ignored and then I turn back to offer him a bottle of sparkling Perrier and 20 bucks. The tears flowed as I recognized him as my brother and my son and that those that plead for life are but a reflection of us all. The malnourished parts of us torched by the elements.
This writing comes after the tales of blessings shared. Of being mutilated by an industry created and creating fear through the promise of healing. The poison that promises those who have brought illness into their lives but then seek love as they decide to live. To live out of fear of creating an atmosphere where loved ones not longer feel welcome.
Why are we tolerant and nice to those that are most cruel?
The answer that comes flowing through: Because, sometimes, we feel what others feel. And as a survival tactic, we do not want to feel more pain and sadness than we already do. Fearing further abandonment from the safety and love of which we are worthy might completely paralyze us.
Instead, take action to know the truth. Take action to halt the cruelty for the action is acute and the sadness is imaginary.
Most likely the cruel someone, is unable to feel compassion or any kind of sadness for what they inflict upon others. Embrace the long term and know that is where the safety and love is given and received by all.
The space exists, all you have to do is move into it.
The concept of moving into existing empty spaces came up several times this week. The first time was during a conversation regarding the houseless. “There are so many empty homes. Why are there so many homeless people?” I responded with, “They are not open to receiving.”
Which has been true in my life over and over and over again.
The other instance was with open office space. Recently the company I work for combined with another company and for a few months, the people from one location have been crammed together in a space much less desirable from a lighting and physical comfort perspective than the other floors. An observation was that the people in the smaller quarters have built up a cheerful comaraderie. Working diligently as needed but also taking time to laugh and share stories of both sorrow and joy. There is a group that gathers consistently for lunch almost every day. And as the moving days come closer, we all look at one another and say, “I hope we can continue this.” And we will.
With regard to moving into the existing space. The lighting is calmer, the views are beautiful, the conference rooms abundant and the decor pleasing in the other spaces. There are welcoming new neighbors and an expansive space with which to grow and create.
The space is there. Move into it. And take with you the creative energy to receive that which you are worthy.
— Wendy Who Walks With Wildflowers
A personal update and an important part of a grounded view on this journey of a Person Thriving and Surviving Daily.
Recently, the universe aligned in such a way to allow me to relocate. The important part is that I received the gift. To know I am loved and to know that I am worthy of setting myself free has been of utmost brilliance. Not brilliant as in genius mind but of brilliant light of loving kindness.
I heard the words, “think of yourself” mixed with other words of encouragement. I then checked in with myself and my life companion on a job relocation opportunity. “Yes” was the resounding response and “Why would you not do this?”
The drain was then unclogged and everything flowed freely for the first time in many years. Stagnant no more, I find creativity in every moment.
Creativity as in creating a life of loving kindness. Creating a life of thriving.
And thus, I share and teach that which is genuine truth in overcoming a life started in trauma. I life built upon a traumatic experience is now a life of undefined moments of gratitude prompted by the essence of angels on earth.
At one point someone told me to come back into my body. I did and on a time continuum, it has taken years but here a now it is simply what is. There are things we need to do as humans to survive with the basics – work to provide financial resources to in turn provide our bodies with that which allows us to know we are safe so that we may create, nourish, love, communicate, intuit and express the ultimate version of ourselves.
The relocation is also a transition is also a deployment. The mission is to experience life free of constant deflection and self-protection from the toxic environment in which I barely existed for decades.
Some might say I was fine. I wasn’t fine. Maybe a sarcastic “fine.” Some might say I was bitchy and angry all the time. Yes, I was. Some might say I was sad. Yes, I was sad. Some might say I was not living life to my full potential. Totally true.
But now, I look forward to experiencing a bit more of my true potential. Being “fine” as in, “you are lookin’ fine, girl!”, joyful, kind and loving. I’ll keep the pixie-like quality of being a big ornery at times. I turn on the confidence more often and the go-get-it. I turn on the humor. I turn on the dance. I turn on the compassion. And I turn on the kindness. I also turn on the “I’m in charge of myself” a bit more by communicating clearly what I need in order to do my life’s work.
To all of you out there that are feeling angry, lost, sad, rejected, hopeless and low-vibration please know that to persevere with integrity and self love is worth it. Not for the reward but to experience life as a person who will confidently do what needs to be done to thrive.
Thank you. I love you.
There once was a girl who stood with the pony
at the water’s edge looking forlorn and gloomy
And on the pony’s back appeared an angel saying,
“I’ve been with you your entire life”
and “I was there to protect you when you were small”
The girl looked down at the water and saw her reflection,
in the water now calm and clear
She saw herself riding a stallion, tall and proud
holding the staff of a warrior
and on her back were the angel’s wings
And so it is.
LilyTiger Creative 