I’ve learned throughout the years that sharing a vulnerable state of being with others gives permission to others to share or at least feel less lonely. So, here is my latest state of being.

Recently, I was guided to a wonderful life coach and mentor, Kelly Olson, a DreamBuilder Program coach. I signed up for the 12-week program. It’s time to get serious about transforming my life. Two years of study and practicing energy medicine has been wonderful. I know now, that I absolutely love this field of work and feel it is my calling in life. Now it’s time for me to work with someone who will encourage and kick me in the butt!

Week 2. Got the materials last night which consisted of an audio recording, a script for the audio and workbook exercises. All of which emphasized a vision for myself.

Wow! Mind-altering work. What have I always wanted to do? What steps am I taking this week to make it happen? Well, hmmmm. Let me see. The things I wanted to do as a child are way different from what I want to do now. Or are they? Thinking back, as a child, I pretty much just wanted to be happy and loved. I didn’t want a big house or a long vacation to the south of France. I just wanted to play, spend time with my family, eat when I was hungry and sleep when I was tired. That’s it. Simple. I want that now.

I didn’t want that 2 or 5 or 10 years ago. I was much too focused on what media and social culture was telling me to want. A big source of frustration. That realization tumbled around in my brain all night long. Which then led to me waking up in a fury this morning. I spent two hours in tears over the most ridiculous things.

Or were they ridiculous things? My vision for myself is to live in love, joy and peace. Some things need to go in order to manifest love, joy and peace. Right?

An indication of something shifting were the tears. Letting go. A surge of energy got me to change some simple things. And then the calm set in. The peace. Still waiting for the joy. I know it’s there.

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Gotta tell you about the energy medicine part of the day. In the past, if I had felt this uncomfortable after starting a program, I would flee and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Today is different. Today I have more tools ready for me. The Guidance Cards! Yes. The Guidance Cards I developed a couple of years ago.  Emotional states of being correlated to the chakras.  Typically a nice way to start the day. If nothing else, it helps me pick the color of clothing to wear. But today was different. Today the card would help me get through a very difficult time and encourage me to keep going with a life-changing program.

Got out of bed. Mind churning.

Grounded myself. Stand with feet on the ground. Bring my hands to my heart. Close my eyes. Take in a deep breathe and exhale slowly. Repeat. Light a candle. Smudge with holy wood. Shuffle the Guidance cards. Pick one. The card is “I AM RELAXED” which is a Sacral Chakra card. Perfect. I need this to help me with creating my new self concept and creating close personal relationships.

Still feeling the intensity of the work, I decided a healing medallion would also be in order. Went to my workshop and created a symbol and medallion for “I am relaxed.” On the back side I engraved the symbol for Alignment with Life. The Alignment with Life symbol is the sacred geometry symbol for flower of life plus a vertical and horizontal line to bring everything into alignment.

Infused the medallion with the healing sound vibrations of Tibetan Singing Bowls. I placed it around my neck. The medallion helped so me much! I went from a state of fury to a calm state of mind within minutes. The day went very well.

Feeling grateful and looking forward to next week’s workbook exercises.