This post is something positive about myself, so if you’re NOT into stories of thriving vs. surviving then I suggest you move on because I only want support, encouragement and love. ONLY.
The transformation over the past year has been so dramatic, I don’t even know where to start other than to say a year ago I was in search of peace. And twelve months later I feel peaceful, joyful, prosperous and grateful.
The most recent experience revealed itself today during a 5-minute conversation i was offered a position I could have only dreamed about previously.
And so it is.
You see, when a person chooses truth, courageous communication, generosity and allows angelic beings to do their thing, all is healed. When a person acknowledges that the source of all is within and to allow alignment with source then the light shines in miraculous and amazing ways.
In this present moment. I am one with the source within. I feel open heart gratitude for all the guides, angels, archangels, masters, gurus and teachers that help me.
An update: The position has since dissolved. I create my reality through my state of mind. So I am peaceful with the development. A bit sad that once again self sabotage was in action. A bit less powerful than previously but it’s still there.
I’ve been listing to the book “Will I ever be good enough? : Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.” by Karyl Mcbride which has been interesting. Can’t say it is joyful but it certainly changes my vibration to a more peaceful frequency. There are exercises toward the end that encourage me to write down my favorite activities and passions. You see, when a person grows up with a narcissistic mother, the ability to know what I like to do and what kinds of things I am good at are tucked away deep inside. I am working now to connect and recall something that I truly like to do. Not something that I was trained to like or was told I like or was good at, therefore I must do it in order to feel loved.
Hard work! Yes indeed. It’s exhausting. I observe my young self and try to recall what I liked to do. Sing. I liked to sing. But why did I like to sing? If it was a means to escape reality, then it wasn’t something that I liked, it was a way to survive the moment.
Ever since I was an infant, I don’t thing anything I did was acceptable. My mother wrote in my baby book “she is very sensitive.” I cried when I needed something. That’s what babies do. They communicate their needs.
So maybe that’s what brings me joy, communicating courageously. And thus this blog.
I’ve come to accept all with grace. With the help of benevolent beings, I transformed that which cast a shadow into that which creates light from within. And with acceptance comes the strength to enforce boundaries through compassionate communication. One does not need to feel loved or be loving. One is the essence of grace and can make choices based on the knowing that we are all grace. For grace transcends love because it is that of benevolent beings. Warriors and mighty characters each and every one.