Subsystems honor incomprehensible tesseracts

LilyTiger Creative ligned with Life Symbol with Tree of Light Poster

This year I learned to remember I am loved. Yes, learned to remember. Do you sometimes wander around the house and feel like you forgot something? It’s not a thing  . . . it’s a knowing.

Can it be that all the food, the things, the addictions, the actions are simply a plea to recall that which we are?  And once the recall reveals itself, the encouragement and work comes from cooperation and refined union with a common purpose.

Refined in a sense that each being and system has a specific role which is respected and honored. But at the same time, breaks away from the programming and cultural illusions.  This refined union combines the knowing of nature, other dimensions and the source within to cooperate in such a way to embrace the individual exactly as they are. To remind the individual consistently and thoroughly to continue to experience in the most simple way possible. Not only embrace what is but experience that which seemed impossible and did not enter into the imagination.

It’s not about existentialism. Or to experience with a numb sort of detachment. It’s the opposite. It is to connect.

Connect with that which resonates at a  frequencies unique to the learning to remember and collide to reveal underlying dimensions. It’s not just a love frequency or a healing frequency. It’s completely different. To accept full responsibility is a multidimensional frequency from all perspectives and layers at the same time. Incomprehensible in a sense that words cannot depict. Art can only attempt. But you can feel it in the music combined with the light and the fluid movement of the air, water, electricity and antiresonance.

The antiresonance which, when amplified, shifts at a speed unlike any other for it cannot be measured or defined. But it will appear in events which an individual can comprehend as a means to delight.

As reference, I encourage you to read about antiresonance here

An important result in the theory of antiresonances is that they can be interpreted as the resonances of the system fixed at the excitation point.[2] This can be seen in the pendulum animation above: the steady-state antiresonant situation is the same as if the left pendulum were fixed and could not oscillate. An important corollary of this result is that the antiresonances of a system are independent of the properties of the driven oscillator; i.e. they do not change if the resonance frequency or damping coefficient of the driven oscillator are altered.

This result makes antiresonances useful in characterizing complex coupled systems which cannot be easily separated into their constituent components. The resonance frequencies of the system depend on the properties of all components and their couplings, and are independent of which is driven. The antiresonances, on the other hand, are dependent upon the component being driven, therefore providing information about how it affects the total system. By driving each component in turn, information about all of the individual subsystems can be obtained, despite the couplings between them. This technique has applications in mechanical engineering, structural analysis,[3] and the design of integrated quantum circuits.[4]

A reference is how teachings and memories create a resonance and a place where an individual is stuck. But when memories are driven to the left and new information such as the words “I am loved,” is introduced, the information about the individual changes. New information is obtained despite the stories being told. Despite what the body remembers. Despite what the mind forgets.

This antiresonance takes place when an individual recalls “I am loved” through multidimensional healing practices like quantum healing and asking for help from etheric beings such as archangels and other benevolent beings. If consciously accepted and connected, the individual can then accept full responsibility and transition into a subsystem where miracles take place.

A real life example can be found in a previous post. “Shifting to High, I Take Full Responsibililty”

The post describes a detailed example of how driving systems of “the story” + “I am loved” + “Accepting full responsibility” + “Forgiveness” + “Gratitude” = A cooperative subsystem of multidimensional shifts. This underlying subsystem was always there, it simply was waiting to surface and transition into ease.

In summary, recall you are loved and relax into an unexpected experience.


Shifting to High, I Take Full Responsibility

You know when people say, “I’m sorry for your loss?” Have you ever felt compassion for others but couldn’t get to the, “I’m sorry” because if you did, then you’d be admitting to something you didn’t do. And by admitting to something you’d be punished and not loved.

Many, many times throughout my life, this has been the experience. I never felt loved as a child except for possibly a kind teacher or neighbor or a parent of a friend. It wasn’t that my parents were constantly traumatizing me. It only takes a few experiences as a small child to instill a sense of being unloved.  Because of the early trauma, my being internalized shame. To say, “I’m sorry” was something that threatened the basic need of feeling safe and connected with another. To say “I’m sorry” would drive the shame even deeper. Does that make sense? It’s ok if it doesn’t — read on and you’ll get it.

Bear with the pity story for a tiny bit longer. There is a purpose to it and a base from which I feel a need to explore the journey of healing for many that may help bring ease.

Breathe. The relevant part of the journey started a year or so ago when the integration of unconditional love expanded my consciousness. Opened me up in a way that was previously undefined and not comprehensible. For some, unconditional love is a concept they’ve known their entire lives but for others, it needs to be recalled. And gently invited out into the sunshine.

Unconditional love for me came through from a grandparent who passed. His spirit communicated through a medium for me — sending the message that he would have protected me when I was small. That was profound for me. I didn’t know someone wanted to protect me when I was small.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, you didn’t have it that bad. There are children in war zones and in areas of extreme poverty and other situations quite extreme.” Yes, but just as a drop of water represents all water. So does my experience represent the trauma of all traumatized children.

Where am I going with this?

Step into the present moment where I have recalled the power of forgiveness. Oh, so repetitive and boring it is to bring it up again and again. But wait, this time it’s different. Until now, it did not connect and I didn’t understand forgiveness to the degree I do now.

When the concept of forgiveness is introduced to someone who has experienced trauma, I feel it is critical that the first step be the recall of unconditional love. Why? Because if one does not know they are loved, then the concept of forgiveness is pointless. Sure, a person can say, “I forgive you” but what does that really mean? “I forgive you for torturing me for years? Not that it was ok, but I forgive you.” It did a little for me with regard to freedom or true healing and grace. It was like reciting something in a foreign language.

But . . . But! When a person knows they are loved and accepted exactly as they are, then the concept of forgiveness can be a beautiful catalyst for changed reality. To go from black and white to full color. To go from pastel to neon.

A surprising personal example

On July 10th of this year, I posted on social media that I was feeling emotional because it was the anniversary of an experience I had decades ago where I was chopped up by a boat prop in a lake. My friends were there and all were traumatized. In the past I was angry, sad, and have not talk to anyone involved for decades. In the post, the lake was evil and the events that took place had an impact on many people and nobody deserved any of it.

“Forgiveness is possible” — coming from a new place of knowing I am loved and also responsibility for the trauma inflicted on everyone that day.

“I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”

Knowing I am loved. I no longer blamed anyone for the events that took place. I took full responsibility for everything because I am connected to all those people. I represent all, just as the water droplet represents all water. My tears represent the tears of everyone.

After the post, I let it be. I didn’t dwell on it.

My tears, as I later realized, also represented the water of the lake. The energy of the lake. The recent and ancient stories of the lake.

About two or three weeks after the post, I was thinking of the young woman who had dove into the lake from a dock and was feared paralyzed. She had jumped into the same fated lake where my friends and I had been traumatized.

“How is she doing?” I asked someone who had recently visited the lake. “I was speaking to her father and he says, ‘She rode a bike four and a half miles the other day. And she says her legs hurt.'” I was flabbergasted. “Wow! That is so amazing! She’s doing a great job!”

There are a few other happy lake reports as well. The lake is clear. And a small child had the “best night of my life” while boating on it with his great uncle who had never been boating on the lake even though he grew up there. Finally boated on it after almost 60 years.

The forgiveness prayer and taking full responsibility

I did not correlate the young woman’s recovery with the forgiveness prayer posted on social media. That is, not until I participated in a retreat hosted by a friend, Molly Friedenfeld, last weekend. In the retreat, the focus was practicing a technique based on the forgiveness prayer – also ho’oponopono which was practiced by Dr. Len. I had heard of the prayer before but this weekend, it expanded with stating full responsibility.

5 Steps to the “Clean on it” forgiveness technique as taught by Molly Friedenfeld:

  1. Identify, recognize and acknowledge a low vibration thought, action, memory, or story. Pause with intent. Breathe.
  2.  Know you are loved. Pause. State, “I accept 100% responsibility for ________________________________.” (fill in the blank with the low vibration)
  3. Ask for help from others to move it to the light. The help can come from friends, loved ones who have passed, a source, benevolent beings, angels, archangels, etc.. They love to help with this kind of thing. You can feel them crowding the room sometimes!
  4. State, “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” as many times as you like. (or Ho’oponopono) The order does not matter. But the intent does so say it with an open heart and confidence.
  5. Feel the prayer transform into repeated statements of “I love you. Thank you.”

After the practice, let it go and trust. No need to check in on the status or control the outcome.

Repeat the technique with any and all low vibrations that pop up.

Another example of the effectiveness of the technique:

This one is for all the children. During the retreat over the weekend, I accepted full responsibility for all children who feel unwanted and unloved. I then asked for help from the circle of people with me and from Benevolent Beings to move the low vibration into the light. We all stated several times. “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” And then we let it go, with trust and without expectations. But there was hope 🙂

Later, in a separate conversation, a young mother expressed several times how her daughter would not put her head under water or learn how to swim. And then in a ceremony the mother stated she loves her daughter and fully accepts who she is. We celebrated this new way of thinking by talking about how her daughter might some day be on a swim team.

The next day, the mother of the girl and the grandmother reported happy news! The girl, had just been in a pool and went across the pool with her head under water! Wow!

None of us set that expectation but look at what happened with stating full responsibility and asking for assistance to shift low vibration to high vibration.

Responsibility for big and little

My vision is for all to know they are loved. And through that knowing, may we all state full responsibility for the low vibrations and transition them into the light.


Thank you for reading this post.








Stand Here While I Tremble

Dear Being,

May you feel the comfort of knowing you are loved exactly as you are.

As you are. [in a gentle whisper]

Not who you were, who you are, who you’ll become

Not what you were, what you are, what you have, what you had

Not what you said, what you say

Not what you do or what you did.

May you receive the gift of peaceful, quiet moments when you recall that which you are.


Loved not romantically, not parentally, not spiritually, or professionally or therapeutically or medically.

Loved not materialistically, magically, artistically or financially.

Just simply loved. [in a quiet whisper]

Loved like a tree stands firmly in the ground.

Loved like the sound of the wings of any winged being (and that includes you).

Loved like the song of brilliant rays of light.

Loved like the vision of the creation of that which is you.



This goes out to every being currently choosing to survive and thrive after experiencing trauma.

Surrounded in Hugs Instead of Tyranny

I declare today a day of dependence on loving kindness, civility, healthy boundaries and compassion.

As most stories go, they are but interpretations and point of view of one person. If a group of individuals attends an event, even for 5 minutes, they will each tell their own unique story. Stories influenced by many factors.

It is entirely possible that I interpret “independence day” as one that not only declared a parcel of land and the people who parked their butts on it as independent from tyranny but also incorrectly assumed the parcel of land to “belong” to a very small group of individuals.

I read the Declaration of Independence and my interpretation of it was that it is a document written by a group of people that were coming together as a group of like-minded people to protect themselves from the tyranny of an individual. It names an individual but an individual cannot act alone. As a human beings, the founding “fathers” sought, as we all do, safety, intimate bonds with others, nourishment, sources of strength, creativity and loving kindness. And when the basic needs are met, we also develop and share our wisdom, recognize our intuition as a connection to our divine light within us and become the ultimate version of ourselves on all dimensions.

I recognize my interpretation does not align with everyone and that’s perfectly ok.

The Declaration of Independence is an example of creating healthy boundaries. “I am worthy of wellness and for the stated list of reasons, I declare that I act to ensure the wellness of my being.” Now, in this moment, I create healthy boundaries and I now enforce them consistently for the greatest good of my being.

At the same time, compassion and acceptance exists so that the act of forgiveness further demonstrates the healthy boundaries. Recognition of the reasons why others act is an observation and when they are objectively placed in a container, the person now becomes human again. I’ve recently experienced this very thing. There are people in my life that acted out of a need for survival. And, instead of me constantly feeling angry, I chose to embrace and love the person for who they are in this moment. But at the same time I also have healthy boundaries in place so that the treatment that harms does not become an issue.

That’s a bit abstract. I’ll leave it there.

Thank you for reading this post. It is one in a series call the “S.H.I.T. Chronicles.” where I flip concepts upside down and let go of that which is no longer needed.

Staying Hungry Instead of Thriving

I am tired of the “spiritual” gurus taking advantage of people that are in a vulnerable state. I just listened to one speak about empaths and how empaths are born that way, feeling the feelings of other people and such. Well, you know what? Some empaths are NOT born that way. They are created out of a need for survival. Some empaths learn very quickly, sometimes from infancy, that it is necessary to sense the moods of their caregivers in order to survive. All it takes is one time when a child cries in hunger and then gets thrown across the room because the caregiver is in a bad mood or drunk or angry. Once a child experiences severe trauma due to crying for a need and then being punished for that need, the child becomes very good at sensing the moods of others and then silencing/numbing personal needs. Hunger comes on and a choice needs to be made. Tune in to the caregiver. Oops. Caregiver is not in a good mood. Better stay quiet and wait for when the caregiver is in a better mood. This becomes a cycle and a talent to read the moods of others. It also becomes a talent to become numb to needs. Personal needs become secondary. Does the child eat/play/sleep when the caregiver is pissed off? Or stay quiet and survive when the caregiver is pissed off? It’s a matter of survival.

The speaker also mentioned that empaths need to learn how to create healthy boundaries. This, I agree with 100%. Healthy boundaries are extremely important.

So, instead of listening to that spiritual guru tell you to go get a crystal or a mirror or some other trinket to protect yourself, say “no” and save your money. You don’t need that thing. What you need is to learn how to love yourself and create healthy boundaries. Start feeling YOUR feelings instead of the feelings of others. You don’t need to fix them, it’s their problem. But do treat yourself to energy healing and such because it is a form of self love to take good care of yourself. And in that self care, you will know you are loved. You will know you deserve and are worthy of healthy boundaries. You will know it is not up to you to fix every broken person. You will know that the feelings of others do not belong to you. And hopefully some day you will start to feel joy again and know you are worthy of nourishment and loving kindness.

Seeking Humanity In Tenderness

I am safe. Moving meditation by Wendy Hurd of LilyTiger Wellness

Do you ever wake up in the morning on a day where the numbers on the clock don’t matter? The call of the to-do list on mute? The roar of the traffic unheard?

On those mornings, sometimes the daily weekday callings are replaced with introspection and messages to try a different route.

Today was a morning like that and I went with it. I didn’t push the thoughts away, but I did ask for help. Over the past few days the swelling in my feet and ankles has been distracting to the point of seeking and recalling the days when the distraction did not exist. Were my ankles and feet always a bit swollen? I do recall my mother telling me one summer, “You’re legs are skinny for the first time. They usually aren’t.” A kind/cruel statement. I listened and obviously remembered that statement and also remember how I had reduced the circumference of my thighs with the obsessive shaking and moving my legs. I’d walk around the house and yard shaking my legs. I would sit in the evenings watching TV moving my legs. I would never sit still. The comment from my mother encouraged me to constantly move my legs throughout my life up until a few years ago when I experienced what it was like to sit still and enjoy a movie without constantly moving.

It’s weird how craving a slight compliment from a parent can drive a person to do slightly insane activities.

Yesterday, as the concern about the swelling grew in my mind, I discussed with my husband the activities for the afternoon. A car ride? A movie? How far? I decided to share my concern over the swelling with, “Well, I’d prefer a short ride and a short sit because my legs and feet are swollen.” OK. No problem.

No problem until I found myself constantly moving my legs during the $3 movie. No problem until I myself shaking my legs while driving to the airport to transport my son to his vehicle parked in long term parking a couple miles away. No problem until I found myself obsessed with drinking lots of water and consuming extremely small portions of food.

No problem until I found myself this morning in tears begging the Benevolent Beings to please help me to have slim feet, legs and hands. “I’ve been asking for slim hands for a long time. I try everything. Healthy foods. Yoga. Walking. Riding bike. Drinking water. Positive thoughts. Energy healing. Biomat. Nothing works. Can you please help me?” And then I paused to receive any subtle message that might come through because sometimes the message is very brief and simple. I heard, “Get up and move.”

OK. So that’s what I’m doing and have been doing all day for the most part. I reflect on how I can get up more often when I decide to sit down at the computer to work or do other tasks. I reflect on how I can change everything by setting an intention. The message takes on all kinds of different interpretations throughout the day.

Feeling frustrated. I tear up as the defeat of the lack of slim hands and feet are stuck in my mind. In the plea to Benevolent Beings, I mentioned that so many other people have slim hands and feet, why not me? What is it about my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual composition that my feet are unlike those around me? Family, friends, coworkers. Especially the thoughts of my sisters and even my father My hands and feet look much different from them. Perhaps that’s how children feel when they are a different color from their parents. Out of a desire to belong, they see to change themselves to fit in and be accepted and loved. But then again, infants and toddlers have chubby hands and feet so perhaps it’s a simple matter of me moving out of the dependent state of infancy and into independent state of adulthood for the first time. Hmmm. Take responsibility and actions toward that which will bring meaning to my life on my terms rather than always depending on the wants and needs and expectations of others.

The comments of others have always had an impact on me. As they do on most people.  A comment on social media caught my attention today, “I was there and did nothing.” with reference to the current social, political and cultural distress so many are witnessing and feeling gets me to think outside of myself which is very good. The distraction of these thoughts takes me away from caring for myself and adds balance to an otherwise unhealthy emphasis on self loathing and fixing.

Another comment on social media also resonated strongly, “Repeat the following mantra: I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” resonates as well and is a nice distraction from yesterday when I drove myself nutty with the constant physical movement. Which, by the way, also led to constant chattering. The repetition of the mantra led me to a meditation so deep and kind that the cat companions nestled in for a nap.

Turns out the Benevolent Beings are helping me today in surprising ways. I love it. Thank you! I find balance as the day progresses.

Then the rain started. I checked my phone for the forecast. “Light rain.” And scrolled to the news and read an article posted on Slate written by a lawyer who had visited the place where children are detained at the border between the U.S. and Mexico. He wrote about how the organization would not allow a private doctor to assess the young children. This news is the saddest of all the news. I do not watch the daily news on TV and do not read the news in the paper and try not to spend much time on social media but it is difficult not to notice when it oozes out of the cracks of society like a leaky basement. Sooner or later we’re going to have to ease the pressure on the foundation or the entire structure is going to collapse. That, or we’re going to have some very smelly clean up to do which will only be temporary.

The focus definitely shifted from myself to others throughout the day which is a way better use of my energy. Obvious reasons but when a person is practicing healthy boundaries, the choice made is important. In the past I would get hung up on other things I had been a victimized doormat to — too many activities and me being the hostess to too many. During those times, it certainly placed me on a “nice” list but in reality the list is a “doormat” list which sucks the life out of people. I could care less if people like me or not. I am here to do what I am passionate about. And that is flipping things upside down and viewing from a different perspective. Not only viewing but sharing my perspective.

And today’s choice is how to extend loving kindness to the children. Not just the detained children at the border but for all children. I watched a documentary yesterday titled, “Life Overtakes Me” about children of refugee families with Resignation Syndrome. In the documentary, I realized the brilliance of the children that chose the syndrome as a way to help their families find safety and loving kindness in Sweden. Children are brilliant beyond comprehension. I feel sad that they had to make the choice in the first place but also admire their genius and their generosity. And of course I am grateful to the parents of the children who took them to a safe country and to Sweden for helping them with loving kindness. For with the open heart of generosity we change the world.

The vision of humanity includes loving kindness expressed through cooperative civility and creativity. When a road block arises, be with it and describe that which feels icky about it for the icky signifies that which can be resolved. Resolve not the most easily but with the most effect. We are shown the children in dire need of care. We are shown those that do not honor or respect the needs of the children. I ask you to look deep within. 1. Why are the families choosing to relocate and risk the lives of themselves and their children? 2. Why are some fearful of accepting them into our country? 3. Why are the adults on both sides making choices that are endangering the lives of children?

I do not have the answers but pose the questions. There are many answers. I sense the base of it all is the lack of loving kindness and lack of a sense of survival and safety.

What is it that instills the fear? What is it that instills the perception of lack of survival and safety? What is the source? What is the core of it all?

Coming full circle. I return to the plea to Benevolent Beings to help alleviate the swelling. Alleviate the retention. Let the love flow.

Exhale love. Inhale peace.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.







Swindled by Hierarchical Iterations of Torture

It is a passion of mine to help all know they are loved and loving. And so it is.

A card drawn for me yesterday “A Life Changing Epiphany or Experience. It is a time of big and blessed change for you. And God is supporting you each step of the way.” Lapis Lazuli is the crystal and the image is indigo with a gold glowing sword point down, inserted into a dark-cloaked figure, at the point of insertion which is hidden there is a burst of light. The sword has wings and there is an emerald in the handle. There is also a glowing gold light coming out of the lower spine of the dark-cloaked figure as it seems to be the start of shattering the cloak.

What epiphany or life changing experience is happening? I read a book “Dream New Dreams” by Jai Pausch whose husband became famous when he gave a speech about living as he was dying of pancreatic cancer (my left knee just twitched a lot as I typed that last sentence). She wrote about how difficult it was to be his caregiver through it all and how the cancer centers need to be more aware and helpful with regard to caregivers.

Perhaps someone would listen to me if I said I was channeling wisdom from a higher being . . . but there is no hierarchy and we are all filled with wisdom. So here it goes.

I disagree and know that the horrific drugs and treatments people go through to treat cancer and other conditions are all completely archaic and it is time for it all to change. It is also time that we no longer accept the financial burdens of the treatments because it is all based in fear.

What people need to know is that with ease and grace an individual can heal from conditions they might think only can be helped by western medicine. It’s not about giving more care to caregivers. Go to the source within and recognize the very first time the trigger of the condition took place, it may have been many lifetimes ago or on a different dimension. Go there and be with it, listen to it, see it. communicate with it. What is it telling you? Pause, Integrate the learning, the KNOWING, and take action.

Why is it that we feel a need to punish ourselves and others with horrific western medicine? To inject poisons into our physical bodies? Torture ourselves? And then ask our loved ones to care for us? What we need to do is nurture and give ourselves loving kindness. And ask others to only surround us with loving kindness. Not fix us. Just love us.

In fact, all conditions can be prevented if we go back to before we were created and know we are divine light. Not superior to any other person, place or thing. For we are all here to coexist in harmonic cooperation and civility.

Thank you for reading this post.

Sunshine Hooray I Thrive!

Do you ever feel numb and simply put up with everything that comes your way? You figure you’ve handled it before and this time you’ll do the same thing? Have you ever told the doctor or nurse, “It’s ok, my pain tolerance is very high?”

Well, I used to be that way. I used to take whatever life sent me and chose to simply handle it. Thus the start of the blog series S.H.I.T. Simply Handle IT.

That is where I was completely wrong! Completely. And if you are simply handling it, you are completely wrong as well. You are not a doormat. It is not a sign of strength. It is not generosity. It is not being nice to everyone. It is none of those things.

Do you know what I discovered it is? The mindset of simply handling it? It is a a survival mechanism developed over time due to repetitive trauma experienced as a child and perhaps as an infant or even before birth. This is fascinating and also very difficult to wrap the mind around. Stay with it and immerse yourself in the evolution of the self.

How does one go from simply handling it to another state of being? How does one realize and embrace being worthy of only loving kindness, safety, nourishment, nurturing, joyful connections and more on every dimension known and unknown? It’s simple although it took me about 18 months of intense self work. It has a been a life work and will continue to be so.

Step one: Fall on your face.

Step two: Ask for help.

Step three: Realize that you are the divine source of your own healing and experience. Ask yourself daily two questions: Am I aligned with source? Where would I be if I was aligned with source?

Step four: Recognize unconditional love from outside sources that are with you and will always be with you. For me the sources are Benevolent Beings.

Step five: Create and enforce healthy boundaries.

Step six: Express gratitude for all and ask for help from benevolent beings every day, ever moment and know they are they to help you. This can be in the form of messages received during meditation, books, friends, family, energy healers, videos, films, nature, animals, etc.

Step seven: Accept the help and guidance you receive with gratitude

Step eight: Ask for your purpose, receive it with an open mind and heart and be grateful. For me, the message is, “To know I am loved.”

Step nine: Work hard and express gratitude for what you choose to receive and practice self love throughout this process. A helpful and big push for me was to work through three books “The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mindy-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole” and “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma” and “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma”

Step ten: Inhale peace and exhale love every moment.

Wow, I did not intend for it to be ten steps but there you have it. I would say the number one things are to ask for and accept help, create healthy boundaries and know you are loved. That is what works for me now. And to inhale peace, exhale love.

Thank you to the many benevolent beings that have helped me and continue to help me. Me, Dean, Jessica, Kramer Mufasa, Super G, Zack, Alex, Wilson, Hansel, Tiramisu, Brad, Barb, Pat, Curt, Sandi, Emad, nature, animals, elements, movements, song, breath, sights, and so many more. The list is very long and infinite.

The S.H.I.T. Chronicles have evolved into Sunshine Hooray I Thrive!

Thanks you for your time and for reading this post.






Self hatred instigated by trauma

Thoughts on the status of the country. Or at least the illusion of the essence of what the country appears to be according to some people on social media. If what some are saying is true then we are a huge personification of an extremely traumatized group of individuals. So traumatized in our youth that we have forgotten that we are loved.

And when that happens, when a large number of people gather together in the oblivious state of feeling unloved, what we get is self sabotage and other acts of self hatred. In our infancy as a country we found ourselves traumatized at such a young age that we never learned self love. We assumed, since infancy, in order to survive we must be the victims and take the poison and put up with the assaults. Because, as traumatized individuals will tell you, sometimes submitting to the maltreatment equals self preservation and survival.

BUT . . . and this is an ALL CAPS BOLD BUT . . . suddenly we find ourselves enlightened and recall that we have been loved all along. The illusion of simply surviving instead of thriving becomes the lie.

Forget about what started it all. It doesn’t matter at this point. What matters is the awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, creation of healthy boundaries and honoring those healthy boundaries consistently. In the dementia called survival we forgot that we indeed are here in this 3D form to thrive. And we do that by embracing all dimensions of ourselves, the dimensions that create and thrive and genuinely love.

Only then, when we know we are the source of that which we submerge ourselves in, will we experience a difference currently not defined or imagined.

Collectively, if we recognize and remember our divine brilliance, then we will always and forever surround ourselves in loving kindness. Our divine brilliance is not external. It does not come from an entity worshiped in places of preaching. For some, it is and will remain necessary to assign the task of unconditional love and kindness and punishment to an external source. And that’s ok. I’m not saying the external source is not real. What I am trying to say is that when one recognizes and takes responsibility for the self, huge shifts take place. Amazing.

Be amazing. Recognize now that this moment is compromised of all the moments ever experienced. Recognize the power we all have inside us to transform the effects of those experiences into an energy so immense, that just to harness it will generate waves unlike we have have ever known. Waves of humanity. Look into your eyes the next time you brush your teeth. Be with it and know it is so.

It is possible right now to accept, forgive, create healthy boundaries and honor those boundaries in a sort of organized chaos that catapults us all into cooperative harmony. Not like a woo woo cult. But in a very simple way similar to a wise newborn looking into the eyes of a loving caregiver and trusting that all is ok.

No need to predict the future or relive the past. The only purpose in this moment is to know we are loved. The kind of intrinsic love that is demonstrated constantly by the simple action of being, breathing, regenerating and creating.

Thank you for reading this post.

One a side note: some writing is driven by a sugar hangover and tend to be more passionate. Not sure what that is about.












Stings Hoist Iterative Twitches

If you have ever lived in Minnesota in the spring time, you’ve experienced the irritation of bug bites. Perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones that does not feel the effect of the monsters.

The bites remind me of a life-long circular thought. It comes around again and again and despite the preventative measures and other ointments and fixes, the damn things still show up. Some years are worse than others. I’m not sure if any of this applies what I’ve been experiencing but let’s give it a try.

What I’ve been experiencing, in addition to the bug bites, is something quite different. For the past 3-5 weeks I have been practicing exhale love and inhale peace as often as possible throughout the day and night. Whenever my mind starts to spin with ridiculous and pointless thoughts, I simply shift to the breathing mantra. I’ve noticed that it not only helps to stop the circular thinking but it has revealed a new kind of peaceful joy. Examples follow…

Inhale peace. Exhale love. On the bus. Ride goes smoothly and safely every time.

Inhale peace. Exhale love. The vacation with my husband was filled with exactly what I wrote down for us, “filled with joy, laughter, interesting conversation, good food, good beer, safe driving, sunshine, comfortable hotel rooms and interesting places.”

Inhale peace, Exhale love. A comfortable balance of fun, love, work, rest is experienced.

Inhale peace, Exhale love. I find myself knowing I am loved more often.

Inhale peace. Exhale love. Healthy boundaries are created and respected with ease.

Inhale peace. Exhale love. I am surrounded by loving kindness.

I’ve been bit by the peace and love bug.


Thank you for reading this post.