I am not above complaining and feeling frustrated and so sad that I spew words of rage. I roar like a lion and feel the power in my being so intense that it intimidates.

A man murdered  men, women and children in a church yesterday morning. The legions of lightworkers are not proving themselves true to their words and preaching. This bothers me. I want to realize the truth of it but it is not working. It’s not helping this world be a more gentle, loving and kind place. There is only suffering and sadness and senseless violence.

What the hell is going on?

And then I listen to things about dolphin energy. Well the dolphin energy is doing nothing. The source energy is doing nothing. Healing streams of grace is doing nothing. We have to find a way to reach people who have the potential to kill so many others and cause extreme sadness that reverberates through millions of people. Reach them BEFORE something like this happens. We need to START loving ourselves and loving our children before they are born. And when they are born, teach them loving kindness. And when they get angry at something to realize it is sadness. It is misinterpreted sadness that need not turn into violence.

Speaking from personal experience, there have been many times in my life when I was not loving and kind and gentle. I lash out with harsh words and loud tones. I too need to practice loving kindness even in the face of great force intended to do harm. For, it is deep sadness misinterpreted and transformed into a self-protective energy that is not needed. There are different ways. Patience. Slowly things down. Breathing. Practice. Practice. Practice. Knowing I am safe. Knowing I am creating my reality. Knowing I have a choice. Knowing I am loved. Knowing I am heard. Knowing I am connected with all. Knowing I am brilliant.

But wait. My guides counter my frustration with a simple example.

I look to my masters, gurus, teachers, guides and angels for messages and this is what I received:

Dearest Wendy and all loved ones, the dolphin energy actually is doing something because the tragedies that you speak of would have been much worse and more numerous. It seems horrifying and wrong which it is. But trust us when we say this is minimal in comparison to what it could have been like. Just like when Huggy Bear’s eye condition turned out to be an infection rather than something worse. Yes, he had to lose his eye but he is well. There are times when sacrifices need to be made in the name of healing. No, it is not good but it could have been much worse. And the experiences are designed by the masses. The more guns and violence come up in conversation, the more it will become reality. So calm the energy down. Breathe slowly. Relax and be with the pain. Place your hands gently on the pain and where it shows up in your body and send it love or the equivalent of the most gracious and kind energy you can muster. Breathe slowly and be in the harmonic essence where you are creating the soft waves of the currents of angelic resonance. It is a frequency not high, but of immeasurable and undefined goodness.

For those of you who don’t know the story, there is a beautiful white angel collie that lives in my home. His name is Huggy Bear. And last year he developed a condition in his eye that resulted in the removal of his eye. There was a mass which the vet thought was most likely cancer. I asked for healing streams of grace for him for many days and weeks. And when the report came back after his eye was removed, it stated that the mass was a solidified infection. It wasn’t cancer! The vet was happy to report that Huggy Bear would not have to go back or receive any other treatment.

Not to minimalize what has happened or to reduce any grief.

The grief is great no matter what but if the situation could have been much worse or if there are many situations that are simply stopped before they happen. I suppose that brings me a tiny bit of comfort. Only a tiny bit though. I’m not happy with the answer. Not one bit. But I don’t have to be happy with it.

But still, it gets a passionate surge of energy going that makes me want to DO something. Now, more than ever, I want to help everyone know they are love, loved and loving. From before they were conceived and born into this world they were love. And also for all the parents and family members and neighbors to know they are loved. That there is enough for all of us. There is no need to compete or fear not having enough. Recognize the strong feelings as either love or sadness. The core of our being knows exactly what is going on but the mind transforms it into something else.

Start now. It starts with me. I need to practice my words. Over and over again I will express loving kindness. But not ignorance or allowing anything to overpower or hurt me or others. There are boundaries in place and with strength I stand strong and say, STOP! Do you know you and I are reflections of one another? I am standing here calm and peaceful. Look at me. Breathe. And be with it.

Be with the pain. There is a flow. I don’t want this to be happening but it is. I don’t ever want it to happen again. Never again. I only want people to find joy in life. There will be challenges but let them be the challenges that create goodness.

Thank you again for the honor of being able to express myself on this page.

First of all, I want to thank you for reading this passage. Thank you for your loving attention to the words I express. My number one intent is for everyone to know they are love, loved and loving.

If we manifest awareness of something, does it make it more prevalent?

Like begets like. You know. There is real truth in it. So why do we, as human beings take actions to bring on more of what we say we do not want? Is it simply a matter of, “I don’t feel good, therefore I am going communicate in such a way that you feel the same way I do.”? I’ve been there many times. But why? Seems like there is a logical first step to raise the vibration. And that is to ONLY ORGANIZE EVENTS OF KINDNESS AND LOVE.

As a point of reference, I am going to share with you one of my passions: never march or give money to a cause that brings awareness to more suffering. And there are a bunch of them. You know, yes you know.

Any kind of suffering awareness days and celebrations and events are included on my list. Not that we should ignore our loved ones, but think about what would happen if we promoted awareness of only loving kindness and joy. Honor those who experienced the situation but then DO NOT CELEBRATE THEIR SUFFERING. Oh my. Honestly, if anyone who has survived being tortured by medical treatments, was to tell you the truth, they would say they do NOT want to be pitied or re-live the experience over and over and over again. And to have the suffering celebrated. That’s ludicrous. Having statues and parks dedicated to suffering is the equivalent of having statues and parks dedicated to individuals who supported torture of others. Not to mention parades, events, RACES, organizations, funding, studies and endless other ways of creating more suffering.

STOP celebrating suffering. START celebrating loving kindness and joy. START celebrating your brilliance and light.

Yes, I can say this with complete genuine love of myself. I now and forever place a boundary on all celebrations of suffering. I only welcome loving kindness that supports my wellness and living my life to it’s fullest potential without remorse or pity.

I remember after I had completed a year of treatments, my sister pointed out a statue at a park that celebrated cancer. It was horrifying. Why, why, WHY would I want to relive the torture again and again? I choose to move forward with dignity and respect for myself. Honor the experience as that of a manifestation and then move on, knowing that I can manifest joy and wellness in my life.

When you see someone in a photo at a celebration of suffering, you’ll see them with a smile. That smile is not one of joy. It is a polite smile. Like the child who has just broken her arm smiles for a photo because she has been told over and over and over again to smile for the camera. What if, instead, the individual SCREAMED bloody horror at the camera? Would we finally get it? Would we finally realize that what we are doing to one another is completely backwards?

Being labeled as one who has suffered is discrimination. It places the person in a category. It is a label. We are not separate from one another, we are reflections of each other.

To keep the joy to ourselves is like greed. The miser who won’t give money to the poor. But once our hearts open up and we start giving, we realize there is more than enough for everyone. Have you ever, for just the pure joy and love of it, given $20 or $100 to someone just because you felt like it? Not because you wanted something in return. Not because you felt sorry for them. Just because your soul aligned with your body and mind, you reached your hand into your pocket and you extended that pure love and joy to another.

It’s simple. And profound. It takes one person and has an exponential effect, reverberating throughout all dimensions of time and space. Keep doing it over and over until that’s all there is. Simple. Keep going, no mater what. Use that resilience, that stubbornness, that passion, that anger and transform it into something that changes everything.

ManKIND! ManKIND! I’m speaking to all of you out there. I am shouting, whispering. Demonstrating. Pleading. Thanking. Choose to embrace the essence of pure love, equality and harmony. We are equal. There is no need to be better. There is no need to compete. There is enough air for all of us to breath. Enough light for all of us. Enough darkness. There is enough of all of us. For we are the light, the darkness, the air.

Thank you.

Sitting in the metaphysical discussion group at a wonderful place called Guided by Angels, the question was asked, “But why did my grandfather choose to come forward now after so many years of trying to connect with him?” There sat a young woman with porcelain skin, black curly hair tied back loosely – the perfect picture of a good witch. Even her eye make up was spot on with the black details at the corners of her eyes. Oh! And her little dog lie next to her on the leather sofa, asleep. She replied, “Well, because the veil is thin.”

Metaphysical groups come in all variations, but this one was the most loving, kind and gentle group I had ever experienced. Sitting calmly with gentle gazes, on leather sofas and chairs, were nine individuals. I was new to the group, in town for the week and drawn to the location after reaching out to a friend in town. Perhaps it was me as well, for the people I see before me are reflections of myself.

This is the story of how, after 55 years, I am getting to know my paternal grandfather for the first time.

Where do I start?

When I was small, my mother would tell the story in a tone filled with pixie-like energy, “Your father is adopted you know! His name was James Michael and he has the adoption papers but he doesn’t know his real parents.” Fascinated for another 40+ years, my sister and I decided to try to stop guessing who our grandparents were and somehow talked my dad into starting the process of finding his birth parents. He had the name of the agency and other details but to find out more information, he had to contact  and make a formal request, pay a bit of money and wait.

Wait. Wait. And then the call came. The letter saying his birth family had been contacted and that it was now up to them if they choose to reach out and communicate. And she did! When my father was almost 70 years old, he got a message from his real sister! My sister and I were so excited! We found our grandmother’s name and that she had died in 1984. And from there we did ancestry research.

But the name of our grandfather was not on the records. We asked questions. We reached out every way we knew how. Was it a neighbor, a boyfriend, a one-night stand with a soldier? It was 1939 and so much was going on. Plus our grandmother was Roman Catholic. But I won’t get into that right now.

This is about my grandfather.

I mentioned the place, Guided by Angels, where the metaphysical group was meeting on a windy Thursday evening. I was drawn to the friendly people and good energy. Earlier in the week I had attended a meditation. Good one. Enjoyed it. Returned on Tuesday for a class about essential oils. Learned a lot. Returned Wednesday evening for a group called Practice your Gifts or something like that.

“What do you do in a group called that?” you ask. Well, it turned out to be a group of people who gather regularly to practice only good energy intuitive skills such as angel card readings, mediumship, quantum healing, visions, manifesting, and so much more. Light and love and only positive intent. It’s not what some of you are thinking. Nobody showed up wearing all black and wearing a pointed hat, carrying a broom. Although some might have flew in. Just kidding.

I introduced myself to the group, “I have many intuitive gifts. I’m here to help and do whatever is needed.” We were all seated on the leather sofas, some standing. Some at ease. Some anxious. And then the owner of the space invited us to gather in small groups and sit together. In the back room were four tables, two bright blue and two bright green with matching chairs.

Sitting with a two individuals, I invited the one young woman to start off with her angel card readings, which she did. Very nice. Very positive. And then I looked at the person sitting across from me and encouraged her to share her gift of channeling angelic messages by writing them down in a beautiful book. She looked at me, wrote one thing down and paused.

During the pause a woman walks over to the table, chats for a little bit and then looks me in the eyes very intensely. “I must tell you. YOU have a male spirit standing behind you. A father or grandfather. Has your father passed?” I replied, “No. He’s alive.” She said, “Well it’s your grandfather then. Your father’s father. He died of a heart condition.”

To which I replied, “Well, that’s interesting because I doubt it’s my father’s adopted father. See my father was adopted and I’ve been searching for his birth father. Years.” She replied with excitement, “Yes, that is who it is. He says he is here to protect you and be your guide. He’s very insistent. You have great gifts to share and he wants to help you. You are doing very good work.”

Wow. We’ve all seen this on TV or heard of it happening. But the most important thing is, when something like this happens to embrace with an open heart. When a very loving spirit comes through and you choose to connect and receive the love, amazing things happen. I cannot say this enough, if you choose to connect with loving spirit, it will change your life. Pure love. Not romantic love. It’s an essence that cannot be described. You simply feel it and know it. Brilliant light, comforting, beautiful, peaceful. I could go on and on. The best word is love but there has to be another way to communicate the essence because the word love is over-used.

And amazing things are happening every second of my life. At first, he came to me in my thoughts throughout the evening. “I am here to hold your hand. I want to be with you as you travel this journey, take you by the hand as a very small child and lead to you safety.” I am crying now as I type this. As I did the evening his message came through to me.

Why now? Why when I am 55 years old? Because the veil is thin? Perhaps. But more importantly for the first time in my life, I love myself. Yes. And when a person loves themselves, they receive and gift love unconditionally.

As I mentioned, I have many intuitive gifts. One of them is connecting with spirit and typing their messages to me or others. So that’s what I did the next day, I connected with my grandfather and channeled his messages. He has a lot to say. A chatter box, like me. Filled with loving kindness. I trust him.

I didn’t know what to expect. You know how you hear and are told to place an intention and then let it go? To stop trying? Well, I had done that, I had stopped looking for my grandfather and then ta da! Here he is.

He likes to be called “Super G” because he showed me a cape and to me he is a super hero.

In my next blog post I will share with you the work we are doing together. As Super G holds my hand along my life journey.