Illumination

DNA Design from Source: Conditional Love

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

I am in Bellevue and discovered this morning that the tree just outside one of the deck porches is gone. All that is left is a small pile of sawdust. I feel a bit sad because it is a nice tree. But am ok with it because more sunshine will come in and I love sunshine.

The sun radiates and communicates to me in amazing ways. Specifically, when the rays of the sun reach out horizontally, it is the essence of two of the loves of my life manifesting as a sun angel wrapping loving rays around me. One of them is Lanni Rae who’s name means sky ray. She is my daughter who died when she was one day old. She is with me always, as is her father.

I checked in with Lanni’s father who is one of my guides, wondering why I hadn’t found any feathers lately and then I found one in the vacuum cleaner! Thank you. Tuned in and receive the message that there is no such thing as unconditional love from one 3D human to/for another. It only exists in the ether.

So our souls love each other unconditionally but it is impossible for our egos. This is a DNA design from source which is a part of the human experience. It helps us to create boundaries and evolve. If we were all love then we would have no purpose.

I also saw a DNA helix radiating from the sun. So now I accept the gift of seeing DNA which I’m not sure I will interpret other than to accept that the sun is truly an entity created from the same source as me.

As I expand, there is the truth that a part of my essence envelopes all with loving rays like the sun.

And so it is.

I Choose Ease

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

Thoughts running through my mind. Pause. Check in. Is it for the greatest good of all? No. Move on. But then more thoughts enter. They are for the greatest good. But then again there is no hierarchy and no judgement so the thoughts were neither good nor bad. The thoughts were neither great nor inferior.

Inferior to what? Superior to whom? Why the competition? As I move into ease and flow of life, I reconsider definitions and all of which I have been taught.

The lessons of the teachers. I defer to the animals and plants. To the mountains and streams. To the clouds, rain and lightning. I listen. They are grateful for the recognition and the attention. They are patient and kind and speak to me the truth.

The truth of ease and grace. The grace that streams through me and with me. And so it is.

Magnify the Loving Kindness

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

The earth shines from within with a light that is created by us, the creators of our reality. And during these times, we have choices to make. Focus on the brilliant light encapsulated in the hearts of every being.

I courageously request that all men, women and children play only games of loving kindness. I ask that they release that which does not serve the children. It starts with me. It does not start with anyone else. It starts with my request from one human being to another. STOP. Simply stop.

With the simple act, may we all find love of ourselves. A love so subtle and gentle that we recognize it as breath. Like watching a baby sleep. It is a beautiful miracle. We are all miracles. We have strength beyond comprehension. For we can change the world with one simple act. We can choose.

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Theory of S.H.I.T.

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

I have had this theory for a while now. When someone commits an act of self sabotage it is equal to having an autoimmune disorder. And they both come from lack of self love. It’s called the theory of S.H.I.T. or Simply Handle IT. Tools to turn the excrement into exactly what it is. Excrement that should be flushed down the toilet.

S.H.I.T. Example 1: Super Heroes In Transformation. Embrace the super heroes of your life. The cape is another form of wings. Fly with them as you would with Superman. I’ve had so much fun with a super hero spirit guide lately. Together we do that I once thought was fiction. Super Heroes are everywhere in my life, each with a unique gift to offer. But I had to open myself up to receive their gifts. They were patient with me and for that I am grateful. A Super Hero sign? Persistence. They will show up again and again and each time brighter than the time before.

S.H.I.T. Example 2: Smoke Hints of Impending Transition. Get out of the way. Call for help. And then embrace what’s about to happen. Fire will do what it’s meant to do. The smoldering ash gives birth to that which was not possible before. I personally experienced this when I was about 14 years old. Our home caught fire. From the ashes we received loving kindness in many forms. And a couple of unwanted spirits left our home as well.

S.H.I.T. Example 3: Smell Hints of Impending Turds. Get the heck out when you first smell something funny. My first job out of college got smelly. I ignored the smell and tried to cover it up but then it turned into a big turd. I found an air freshener called “Walk Away.” Ah! Refreshing air!  A bright and shiny world revealed the most amazing experiences of my life! I went on to use one of the first Macintosh Apple computers as a graphic designer on a publication. Went on from there to work with amazing people at an ad agency. And from there found the courage to move my family to a place where my husband could be home every day.

S.H.I.T. Example 4: Sunshine Helps Internal Tuning. Drawn to the sunshine of Arizona, I discovered my love mantra. On the Apache Junction Trail, the road and scenery triggered the mantra ‘I. O. E. O. U.” which opened my heart little by little until I could finally love myself enough to find the peace and joy I knew was in me all along. I.O.E.O.U. are the vowels of “I Love You.” And in the sunshine, I read a book called, “Whatever Arises, Love That” by Matt Kahn which I recommend. Take trips to the places that call to you. Even if it’s the local park. I sing I.O.E.O.U. every day of my life and the results have been profound. I went from an unemployed wanna be to a prosperous graphic designer working with a group of geniuses at an innovative company. And I shine light in the sky ways of downtown Minneapolis by silently singing ‘I.O.E.O.U.” Try your own love mantra and sing it, you’ll find love in places you previously feared. The fear transforms into sadness and then into love. That’s the ultimate tune up. Transforming fear into love.

Look for more Theory of S.H.I.T. examples to come. My vision is the theory to transform my autoimmunity which attacks my body into immunity which repels that which I do not need.

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Really? Are you surprised? Come on.

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment
WE CREATE OUR REALITY. We are hypocrites every one of us. We celebrate violence with our actions. But then we gasp in horror when someone carries out the acts in real time.
We pay to see the movies, play the games, sing the songs, recite the poetry, play the music, paint the visual, visit the museum, and read the books. We award the display of violence. We practice violence as a society every moment. And then a person actually does the very thing we tell them not to do.
 
Really? Are you surprised? Deep down. If you are honest with yourself. Are you surprised that any of this is happening? Good grief. Wake up.
We tell them not to do something but then sell, celebrate and award the very thing we tell them not to do. It’s like telling a child not to eat the candy from Halloween but then we go and take some and eat it ourselves right before bed or have it for breakfast. What’s the difference? Basically none. Same principal and obviously different outcomes. But you get it.
 
Take a look in the mirror. What horror movie do you adore? What war game do you play for hours? I know that is different from carrying out acts of violence BUT there are a certain number of the population, obviously, that is capable of doing it for real.
 
Think about it. WE CREATE OUR REALITY.
••••••••••••
Interesting conversation today about the individuals being reprimanded for sexual misconduct. Yes, there should be ZERO TOLERANCE for disrespecting others, especially children. We should honor and respect children always and forever. Treat them with loving kindness.
 
But . . . we have created the monsters. Yes, we are responsible. The movie roles that are written, the books written, the awards given for performances all add to the potential and ultimate reality that one of those individuals will become the monster they act out in the movie or play.
 
And then when they do become the character they have practiced and have been awarded for, we turn around and we are surprised? Good grief. We are surprised? We have celebrated the person for all the horrendous characters he has portrayed.
 
WE CREATE OUR REALITY. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE. It is not just the one person, it is ALL of us.
 
And now that we are awake, now that we have been jolted out of our blur. Now that we have clarity. We must this very moment change our thoughts and behavior. For what you expect from one person, you must also practice yourself. DO NOT say, “Oh I loved that movie” when it has a predator in it that if, they were in your home you would banish them forever. Why watch the movie and adore it but then do a complete 180 degree move and call it horrendous. WHAT IS GOING ON?
 
I’ll tell you what is going on. We are looking at ourselves for what we really are. And we don’t like what we see. So we are evolving. We are changing. Embrace it and love yourself. It’s hard work but we can do it.
•••••••••••••
I am equally guilty. As we all are. Every one of us has thoughts and carries out actions that we want to imprison others for. And if you say you have never thought or done anything of that nature, you are lying.
Not that we should excuse the behavior but perhaps judge less harshly and take actions that are more kind. Stop yourself from thinking harsh thoughts, saying harsh words, carrying out harsh actions. Focus on loving kindness. Not the false loving kindness but true kindness that comes from the heart. That which is unconditional. It is humble.
 
It starts with me. In this moment I practice loving kindness and it is my life’s work to embody that which I know I am capable and want for myself. I want to be treated with loving kindness, therefore I shall only think, say and do that which I expect of others. I know, this is what we’ve heard over and over, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but to truly live it? I take on the challenge. Not that I will be sickly sweet but my intent is to be REAL. To breathe and be real.
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Screaming Whispers

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

Sitting there the question arises

Why did you not scream?

Because the whispers are more powerful

And the truth gently arises

As if the petals unfolded in secret

A secret known to only

Only you

 

•••••••••••••••••••••••

 

Only you can permit the truth to be spoken. And when it arises it is like the whisper that is heard around the cosmos like a new etheric essence born out of nothingness.

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Wattage of Power in the Brilliance of Humanity Intensifies

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

I am not above complaining and feeling frustrated and so sad that I spew words of rage. I roar like a lion and feel the power in my being so intense that it intimidates.

A man murdered  men, women and children in a church yesterday morning. The legions of lightworkers are not proving themselves true to their words and preaching. This bothers me. I want to realize the truth of it but it is not working. It’s not helping this world be a more gentle, loving and kind place. There is only suffering and sadness and senseless violence.

What the hell is going on?

And then I listen to things about dolphin energy. Well the dolphin energy is doing nothing. The source energy is doing nothing. Healing streams of grace is doing nothing. We have to find a way to reach people who have the potential to kill so many others and cause extreme sadness that reverberates through millions of people. Reach them BEFORE something like this happens. We need to START loving ourselves and loving our children before they are born. And when they are born, teach them loving kindness. And when they get angry at something to realize it is sadness. It is misinterpreted sadness that need not turn into violence.

Speaking from personal experience, there have been many times in my life when I was not loving and kind and gentle. I lash out with harsh words and loud tones. I too need to practice loving kindness even in the face of great force intended to do harm. For, it is deep sadness misinterpreted and transformed into a self-protective energy that is not needed. There are different ways. Patience. Slowly things down. Breathing. Practice. Practice. Practice. Knowing I am safe. Knowing I am creating my reality. Knowing I have a choice. Knowing I am loved. Knowing I am heard. Knowing I am connected with all. Knowing I am brilliant.

But wait. My guides counter my frustration with a simple example.

I look to my masters, gurus, teachers, guides and angels for messages and this is what I received:

Dearest Wendy and all loved ones, the dolphin energy actually is doing something because the tragedies that you speak of would have been much worse and more numerous. It seems horrifying and wrong which it is. But trust us when we say this is minimal in comparison to what it could have been like. Just like when Huggy Bear’s eye condition turned out to be an infection rather than something worse. Yes, he had to lose his eye but he is well. There are times when sacrifices need to be made in the name of healing. No, it is not good but it could have been much worse. And the experiences are designed by the masses. The more guns and violence come up in conversation, the more it will become reality. So calm the energy down. Breathe slowly. Relax and be with the pain. Place your hands gently on the pain and where it shows up in your body and send it love or the equivalent of the most gracious and kind energy you can muster. Breathe slowly and be in the harmonic essence where you are creating the soft waves of the currents of angelic resonance. It is a frequency not high, but of immeasurable and undefined goodness.

For those of you who don’t know the story, there is a beautiful white angel collie that lives in my home. His name is Huggy Bear. And last year he developed a condition in his eye that resulted in the removal of his eye. There was a mass which the vet thought was most likely cancer. I asked for healing streams of grace for him for many days and weeks. And when the report came back after his eye was removed, it stated that the mass was a solidified infection. It wasn’t cancer! The vet was happy to report that Huggy Bear would not have to go back or receive any other treatment.

Not to minimalize what has happened or to reduce any grief.

The grief is great no matter what but if the situation could have been much worse or if there are many situations that are simply stopped before they happen. I suppose that brings me a tiny bit of comfort. Only a tiny bit though. I’m not happy with the answer. Not one bit. But I don’t have to be happy with it.

But still, it gets a passionate surge of energy going that makes me want to DO something. Now, more than ever, I want to help everyone know they are love, loved and loving. From before they were conceived and born into this world they were love. And also for all the parents and family members and neighbors to know they are loved. That there is enough for all of us. There is no need to compete or fear not having enough. Recognize the strong feelings as either love or sadness. The core of our being knows exactly what is going on but the mind transforms it into something else.

Start now. It starts with me. I need to practice my words. Over and over again I will express loving kindness. But not ignorance or allowing anything to overpower or hurt me or others. There are boundaries in place and with strength I stand strong and say, STOP! Do you know you and I are reflections of one another? I am standing here calm and peaceful. Look at me. Breathe. And be with it.

Be with the pain. There is a flow. I don’t want this to be happening but it is. I don’t ever want it to happen again. Never again. I only want people to find joy in life. There will be challenges but let them be the challenges that create goodness.

Thank you again for the honor of being able to express myself on this page.

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Why Don’t You Let Me Go?

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

This is for all the men and women out there whose sadness is so deep that they simply cannot comprehend why anyone would like or love them.

The other night was a repeat scene that has been going on for decades in my home. Over and over again. The ratings of the rerun slipping each time. The same damn sob story as I stand in the corner of a room and cry about this and that. But mostly that. That old story of not being loved, of rape, of hating myself, of wanting to die every day of my life. Telling him that he is a good person and deserves to live with someone who is capable of loving him and doesn’t go on and on with the same sob story.

The stories are fabricated to destruct. The self sabotage rampant. But when the love is real, the angels stand strong and endure.

“Why don’t you let me go?”

“Because I love you.”

For someone who has never experienced true love or self love until recently, it’s very difficult to understand fully that another human being or angelic guide is capable of loving so fiercely, that letting go is not an option. It’s not an easy relationship some days. Most days are superficially ok. Chattering away about work and the pets. Then retreat to separate spaces. Separate rooms. Separate dimensions. Separation is a must. Physical and emotional space are key.

Space to change and evolve. Changing the mindset to recall the brilliance of love is a process. Unrecognizable at first, it shows up as a surprising friendship or tears flowing freely during a walk or a drive. The best experience is while sitting quietly with the dog or cat and feeling the love flow unconditionally from them. Those are the tears that make the loudest noise, breaking the sound barrier of a heart closed off with many layers.

The layers thin and dissipate. The heart illuminates. On occasion, there will be a fleeting moment followed by, “It was so nice to see you happy. I just want you to be happy.” It’s difficult and feels strange to hear the words. “But why?” It’s like a foreign language at first. Sooner or later the language is understood and trusted.

Today as I celebrate the first day of the rest of my life I trust the multidimensional being that is Wendy. I practice seeing and feeling for the first time. I let go of the story. It is no longer me. I am born in the essence of love.

To those of you who know someone or are that person who just does not understand the language of love, I encourage you to keep trying. Turn the letters PTSD into Person Thriving and Surviving Daily. Shift happens and you’ll find yourself carried by the etheric currents which angels fly. Open your heart and soul to angelic guides. They surround you and patiently wait for you to sing.

Thank you again. I feel honored and blessed to share these words with you.

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Today I Am One Day Old

Today I am one day old. Wendy Hurd LilyTiger Creative
~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

My entire Facebook feed is filled with joy. It was probably that way before but today it is becoming a part of me. I no longer see it as other people’s joy. I see it as a reflection of my joyful essence. Such is life after re-birth. Today I am one day old. And I am crying again.

Free and alive more than I have ever known.

Goosebumps all over. The rays of light exploding from within.

I woke up this morning thinking of ways to express my essence of joy. Amusement park? Go-karting? Spending time with children at the zoo? Watching cartoons? And then I realized I don’t need any of those external stimuli. For what that does is suck the joy out of me. I find joy inside where it is peaceful and simple. Just as a child would sit and be with the blanket, the warmth of a solar embrace.

I am one day old. I am Wendy. Wendy Who Walks with Wildflowers. It is the name given to me by an ancient tree of the forest.

The simple joys of today: waking up. Feeling the comfort of the bed. Recalling the cat coming up to me in the middle of the night and kissing my cheek. Something he has never done before. Gratitude for having food to feed the dog and cats. The cool air. The yard. The washer and dryer. The lights. Breath. Blood circulating. Dreams. Sitting on a stool in the middle of the kitchen tasting the peanut butter chocolate sea salt fudge. Releasing the thought that I see myself owning a shop in Arizona called Prickly Pear Petunia. A confectionery where the sweets are the golden nectar of life. A joyful vision of a different dimension. It happens somewhere. I am with it in spirit.

Do one-day-old infants dream of such things? Do their cries communicate the frustration of not being able to take action to realize their dreams? That they are totally reliant on their care givers?

May all know they are love, loved and loving. Experiences come and go. Alignment with what we know comes and goes. The power within us is a gift. Receive it with the grace and ancient wisdom that the sun is the warmth that cradles our souls. And we are the sky connected to the infinite source.

Sounds Like Falling Tears

~ Wendy ~ Leave a comment

Guidance and angels surround us all. I found myself asking Super G, my super hero grandfather in spirit, how he was going to hold my hand for the next steps. How was he going to protect me from a lifetime of being violated? Nothing was coming through . . . silence.

The silence of falling tears. Cease the constant mind chatter that covers up the deep sadness. Under the surface a wonder awaits.

I drove along the highway on my way to the Spirit Walkers November Full Moon Celebration. 23 minutes to my destination. It had been months since the last time I had gone to a full moon celebration. Not sure why other than I felt irritated with myself. Today was different, today everything aligned.

I found myself standing in front of the mirror looking at myself and thinking, “You are ok just the way you are.” Which, at the moment, meant to not put make up on and not harshly judge myself or my clothes. A simple sweater, yoga pants, scarf and moccasins would do.

Turns out, the lack of make up = no mask. I left my mask on the shelf at home and showed up at the full moon ceremony as I am.

As I am now. Wendy, age 55. Without the mask. Free.

At the ceremony, I transformed during one of the experiences. A man named Horse who runs Three Feathers Farm, led the circle in responsive vs reactive consequences. Most of us stood on the West to declare publicly that which we choose to release. I publicly announced, “I am Wendy and I leave behind the sadness of a lifetime and beyond of not being loved. And I leave behind decades of being molested and raped.” I sobbed. Was I really doing this? The words that came out of my mouth were much different from what I had rehearsed in my mind.

In a circle of dozens of people and with a microphone in my hand. I said, “What does it sound like? It sounds like tears falling and the silence of no chatter to cover up the sadness.”

The mediator of the circle experience spoke powerfully. “It is no longer your story. You stand in the West and have done the work. Are you ready to release it? The story is no longer yours, it belongs to them. If you are ready, we will walk across the altar to the East. What will you find in the East?”

“Joy.” I looked him in the eye and sobbed.

He said “Today, November 4, 2017 is your birthday. For today you were reborn.”

I walked across the altar and into the East. Across the rug lying in the center of the circle. On the north and south were a sacred ceremonial blankets. In the center was a bear skin. I felt free. Paused on the edge of the rug. And then entered into my new reality where I am loved. Where I am treated with loving kindness and respect by all.

“I feel like dancing.”

“Well then dance!”

Every cell in my body was dancing. I shook uncontrollably like a leaf for the next hour. Standing in the East crying for all the people in the circle that let go of that which no longer serves them.

I now integrate joy into my life. Wendy, age 55. I am no longer the stories of the others that did not love me the way I deserve to be loved. I am simply the essence of how I am created to exist.

Thank you for your time.

 

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