What happens when the practice of living in the present moment mixes with a gift to turn things upside down + the curiosity of “what if” + not caring what others think of me + a computer on a quiet Saturday morning = what you’ll read below.

Subtract sugar to dull cognitive function minus the constant distraction of traffic jams minus fear-based work deadlines minus the choice to disconnect from shopping = what you’ll read below.

Guns, Religion and Civil Evolution

A bit about me, just in case you choose to read this with an open mind. I write this from the perspective of a woman who was raised in the 60s/70s in the United States in a family of 7 with upwardly mobile parents, going to Catholic church, and with limited exposure to extended family or older friends due to a constant need of my parents to move to the next place and find something better.

Guns

From a purely objective observation, guns are mechanical devices designed to eject a small object with enough force and impact to result in a physical change. This mechanical device is operated by a human being who has the mechanical ability to operate the mechanical device. This human being is operating under a series of forces which are multidimensional. The gun itself is simple. The human being is not.

Religion (as it relates to holidays)

Holidays as an adult irritate me. Not just mildly, but all out major irritation. Sort of like a mild rash that has spread like a wild fire and perhaps even penetrates my internal organs. There is no team of firefighters that can put this fire out. The only source of relief is myself and the choices I make to figure out the source of irritation and slowly, with intrigue and courage,delve into all dimensions to observe and share the view.

My sister and I have always found ways to rebel against holidays in one way or another. In 3rd grade I hid in a closet to avoid going to a religious service. I didn’t know why, other than I just didn’t want to go and didn’t know how to get out of it other than to hide in the coat closet. It worked only as long as it took my parents to find me. Not very effective.

And then my sister discovered becoming too sick to get out of bed as an effective way of getting out of the rote discourse of misconceptions of the holidays.

Lots of other avoidance practices come to mind: anxiety attacks, sabotage through bad-mouthing everyone, moving across the country, having to work, having a husband who works, child activities, lack of money, a child’s illness, road conditions, inoperable vehicles, recipes that go bad, etc. When we don’t know the source of the irritation and need to avoid, we come up with all sorts of escape tactics. It’s quite entertaining. And then there is the inability to say “no.” Why can’t we honor our gut and simply say “no”? I find it fascinating.

Fascinating that it has taken me 56 years to recognize the source of the holiday irritation. It has nothing to do with any of my family or my childhood.

It has everything to do with a lineage of existence and misinterpreted connection with source.

Simply put…A disconnection with source. THE source.

This could lead to a lordy, lordy, God, Jesus thesis but it’s not. Because there is one thing that has always been consistent with me, I have always been able to connect with my truth which is to never follow or believe in any organized religion. To only participate from a social perspective and need to belong to a group of kind people. And we all know that just because people are a part of an organized religion does not make them kind people, it simply gives the horrific pedophiles and mean-spirited people a place where they have an excuse to act the way they do because they feel accepted and forgiven of all their sins. And then they keep doing what they are doing . . . to a supply of individuals who have very weak egos due to the fact that the organized religion has weakened their egos even further than they were before. These individuals, the victims of the mean-spirited narcissists and organized religious beliefs were born as empaths and have the innate ability to see the good in others but also allow people to walk all over them in the name of “serving others” and “helping” and “fixing” and “forgiveness.” For empaths feel the pain of others constantly and either want to fix the pain of others or turn it on themselves and see themselves as the source of the pain. For instance, “I am a bad person therefore I deserve to be treated poorly.” Or the empath may turn the darkness into physical and mental anguish – disease.

The places of worship are the places where holidays are celebrated over and over and over. Where large groups of people congregate, study and collectively participate in the mindless dogma. Add to this the theaters, social media, libraries, media, arenas, auditoriums, collective consciousness etc. and you’ve got a system of magnitude that blows the mind.

Holidays have always irritated me. And as I wrote above, I wasn’t sure why until today.

Civil Evolution

I bring you to a scenario in which we truly embrace loving kindness and stop the blind following of old traditions. Stop celebrating the holidays that are based in fear. Thanksgiving. 4th of July. Veterans Day. Memorial Day. Columbus Day. And any other day that celebrates the winning of a war or a declaration of superiority.

Thanksgiving is a celebration of genocide of native Americans. WTF have we done? And then we call out the individuals who take it upon themselves to use guns to wipe out a group of people. Such hypocrites are we that hold up peace signs and talk about loving kindness but then we honor and celebrate the eradication of millions of people.

Europeans came to North America in search of religious freedom and to operate as a free people but it was also to conquer and take land. To be superior. Superiority is one of the most disturbing concepts. That only a few are worthy of a decent life is completely absurd and not evolved. Which goes back to the misconception that the only way to survive as a species was to be superior and to kill. To kill those which would either “feed us” or competed with us in our fear of survival.

Change the world by taking an honest look at how we function as a civilization. Civil is “Of or relating to citizens and their interrelations with one another.” Civilization is about cooperating and getting along to survive in a civil manner – having advance social organization to live comfortably. Somewhere along the line, fear started to dictate the day. This makes me want to shake my entire body like a dog after a bath.

We seem to thrive off of discomfort and suffering. sure advertising promises if you buy this or that, you are assured a level of ease and comfort but what it seems to be doing is building an intense competition to be better, get more, have more and fear the loss of existence if one does not have constant external validation through “likes” and “stuff.”

Surviving as a 3D being is only a very tiny part of the story.

The concept that we stop existing when we “die” is complete bullshit. Somewhere along the line it became a source of suffering to continue to exist. To experience physical and emotional pain became an annoyance.

And where did the concept of “happiness” become an achievement? Was it with the first recording and sharing of written information? Was it with the first verbal story passed on from generation to generation? When did “happiness” become something to attain as a reward and a throne of proof we are worthy of 3D existence?

Through deduction, a theory evolves out of human kind’s disconnect with themselves as multidimensional beings. Something must have happened where it became a survival mechanism to remain in and only acknowledge the 3D self. To want to “live forever” in the physical body by eradicating others through violence which was supported by religion under the veil of civilization.

Evolution (of myself)

I choose to acknowledge the source of my existence which is now and forever connected with that which has not yet been defined. And I hope it never will be defined. I accept the evolution of myself as a gift of unknown power, grace and mystery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anita Moorjani’s video yesterday resonated with my whole soul. It was all about focusing on living life. And I know, blah, blah, blah . . . we always hear those words or something similar. Focus on what you WANT. She talked about cancer and how before she had cancer and actually died from it (and then returned obviously), her entire life revolved around not getting cancer which of course had the opposite effect of what she wanted. She got cancer because that is what she was focusing on . . . eating, meditating, exercising, etc. all out of fear of getting cancer. And then she realized after dying and returning that what she needed to do was focus on living because cancer is a state of mind, a consciousness. She also mentioned how cancer research actually fuels more cancer because the focus is on cancer research and not on LIFE research.

That resonated with me so much. YES! That’s exactly what I do and have done for the past 13 years – focus on living. Every since I was given the “5 months to live” talk, I did just that – I took 5 months to figure out how to live! But the realization did not illuminate until just now because I was focusing on death and how I did not want to die. What I do, in fact, is focus on how to LIVE MY LIFE WITH EASE AND JOY.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

After watching Anita’s video, I immediately applied it to a project at the office which involves life insurance. I wrote a post to the team about how I love what we’re doing because we are evolving the industry by focusing on life instead of death. We are focusing on assurance instead of fear. This is a paradigm shift for the industry. We are doing it many ways, some of which includes scientific research that helps individuals realize their projected longevity through epigenetic markers. So if a person comes to the company and gets their longevity report which shows they are aging a little faster than they might like, they have an opportunity to change that trajectory by making lifestyle, environment and mindset shifts. It’s LIFE changing if the individual chooses. Of course there are always the unpredictable things that happen in life that would effect one’s family financially, but that’s what life insurance is for. To assure one’s family can ease through the transition of losing a loved one with a bit of financial support. Money is a form of energy and when it is a high frequency intention, it can be comforting. In this instance, if the life insurance policy was purchased out of love of one’s family (instead of fear) then if something does happen, the money will feel even more comforting to the family. This is a paradigm shift in the evolution of human kind. To purchase something out of love instead of fear. To purchase something in celebration of life instead of the other.

I did not post all of the paragraph above but a summary of it. I wasn’t looking for approval or applause, all I wanted to do was share the insight and the joy I find in what the organization is doing. A few people do resonate with the post yesterday which is a bonus and confirmation that I am on my path of ease and joy.

That was yesterday.

Today, in this moment, I apply Anita’s insights into living life into my own life. For YEARS I had this mantra about the number of hours I want to work and the amount of money I want to bring in to sustain and thrive. I could not figure out what I was doing wrong. Why was I working much, much more than what I wanted?

Duh!

It was because I was focusing on work and not on fun, relaxation and a life of ease. So now my mantra is that I live a life of ease and joy every moment and I have enough financial resources to thrive. Every choice assures my essence and purpose which is to gracefully express myself as a being of light.

And so it is.

I have learned much recently about a rather mysterious series of situations. The lesson: how to free myself of negative in order to embrace the lighter side of myself.

The term “empath” seems to be quite popular lately when describing a person who is sensitive to what is going on with others. An empath might feel a physical ailment or hear the thoughts of another, feel the emotions or visualize what is going on with another. Often times, if the empath is not aware, the messages, emotions, feelings and visualizations get misinterpreted as the empath’s own. When in fact they are not.

In children, this may show up at a very young age when the child expresses very “adult” expressions such as a toddler mentioning despair or anger or physical ailments that cannot be explained. If not explained to the child, the child may then misinterpret the negative as being a reflection of themselves and go through life in a state less joyful than what their natural state is meant to be. AND if not explained to the parent, the parent can feel completely helpless in the face of very challenging situations with regard to their child’s ups and downs.

What then is not “mine”? What can I do to discern quickly? While listening to a Matt Kahn video, he explained that anything negative most likely is not the empath’s own. This seems true in the case of individuals who have described themselves as feeling drawn to being light but at the same time struggle with negative emotions and other symptoms that appear suddenly.

I feel relieved! I tried this for a few days. Any negative emotion that bubbled up, I chose to either dismiss it easily or look into it further for what it might be teaching me.

For instance, I will often have some sad or negative thoughts at the office with regard to my position which will come out of the blue and not be related to anything I am currently working on. I have often tried to associate with a particular project or person but then find out later I had misinterpreted the emotions and that they were incorrect. Sometimes it turns out that the extreme emotions like being let go or extreme dismay will turn out to belong to someone else – an that person will either announce they are leaving the company or the company announces the person’s position was eliminated. This has happened many times.

At the same time, I enjoy a challenge and will hopefully choose curiosity with something arises.

A rather personal and mighty awareness was revealed most recently with regard to personal safety. I had been placing boundaries around myself with regard to my intimate relationship with my husband. Where much of the pain was real, some of it was picked up from the masses of those who have been assaulted. I had been manifesting it as my own pain for years. Yes, years. With the recent realization, I now know my reality is quite safe especially with gentle communication. It will take some time but with patience and learning, I choose to repair a bond which is like no other.

I seek and find my own joy which exponentially radiates to all those around me. I feel light and more able to embrace the joy that I am, the grace that I am and the loving kindness I share with others.

 

 

 

There resides a willingness

Willingness to relax

Relax into the moment of solitude

Solitude refinement of the senses

Senses sending eternal nods of wisdom

Wisdom in the embrace of the tools of flight

Flight above and below and here and there

There resides a willingness

Life and death are but experiences

Surrounded by misconception.

Be free of all

And be with Life

As it unfolds before you

Like the breath of a storm

A whisper of wings

On a sunny day

A glimmer of a star

On a dark night

Honor death

As a canyon vast

Breathless

Ancient

Graceful.

 

 

 

 

 

The life of a person becomes a delicate dance unlike any other. Where one turns, the other dips, one step and another. Swaying. Jumping. Tapping. It’s a beautiful symbiosis.

Random we are not. For the universe gave us the senses to experience this and to recall how to accept. For to wonder we go under and then come up for breath recalling that which we are.

Are we afraid? What if every tale told to scare you into not feeling was false? What if the only reality is this very moment?

I spend this moment recalling the feeling of being in the presence of a very unique and gentle person. One so kind-hearted that every assault on his essence carves away a piece of his core. I choose to spend time with him and remind him of his grace and brilliance. Remind him of how he is fully accepted as he is.  He does not need to be fixed for there is nothing wrong with him.

Grateful am I for the grace of the moment.

This is the second installment of G.R.A.C.E. and it reminds me of when individuals talk about getting a “download” of information leading to a significant amount of information to share or a significant change in reality. I genuinely cannot say if I have ever received such.

Observation of late with regard to the eulogies given at John McCain’s memorial service inspires questions and conversation regarding judgement and love. Witnessing the situation where one is placed on a pedestal leads me to deduce that each message broadcast is one that others can learn from. Learn about resilience, love of family, love of community, friendship, strength, etc. The practice of discernment when it comes to placing others in a superior space simply because of a perceived sacrifice made on behalf of others is in the interpretation. Discernment itself is a form of judgement in order to filter free will and decisions to take action or not.

What is the definition of sacrifice? According to a Bing search, this was given as one of the definitions of sacrifice: “an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.”

If we are in a present state of mind and state of observation, is there value? Does the concept of more important or worthy exist? Or is all of equal value?

One life is worth just as much as another life. Or is it? Are all of divine light and the essence of grace? Does the reality of the moment shift because one chooses to take action based on hierarchy and status? Does breath cease? Does light and dark disappear?

One could argue that the perception of breath, light and dark shifts. Or does it? One could stop physical breath after choosing to join forces to destroy another due to a perceived call to sacrifice one’s existence in the name of a separate existence.

Or is breath a perception as well? I recall watching a film of a man in India who was still for a very long time and existed on almost nothing. His physical body was viable even though he did not consume food and did not appear to be breathing like others around him. It is a different state of being. It is not wrong or right, it simply is.

To judge one person’s actions and make the person more noble and worthy of more than another is a truth to ponder.